Besides we've checked--Goldman Sachs isn't hiring.
For all students, advisers without apprehension,
And for women, only desired attention.
AT the Quad, whose white stripes students once played on,
For Myra Mayman, a picnic table to get laid on.
Advertisement
Students at Lowell deserve a rambunctious hour;
For Mather residents, saltpeter and a cold shower.
To RTM, whose hacker daring did inspire us,
We give you immunity from the litigious virus.
To our ever-winning icemen, NHL status we give
For making the opposing goalie look like a sieve.
To Tom Yohe, one more year of eligibility;
For the rest of his team, just some win-ability.
FOR the Duke, whose liberalism Bush tweaked,
An assortment of gifts from the Harvard Boutique:
Want to keep up with breaking news?
Subscribe to our email newsletter.
Read more in Opinion
The U.C.: There's Hope Yet
