GAIL HAMILTON.AMERICAN COUSINS, - I am sorry to decline your invitation, but in view of the approaching election and the activity of the opposition, England must be kept excited. I must remain at my post, and try to prod up the Russian bear, or, if I can't do that, I 'll kill off the rest of the Zulus.

BENJAMIN DISRAELI, EARL OF BEACONSFIELD.MY DEAR KIN BEYOND THE SEA, - I am always glad to dine with Americans, for I consider Americans the salt of the earth; but I am needed at home just now to prevent that puppet Beaconsfield from imposing on the people by his tricks.

Yours, GLADSTONE.AMERICANS AND GENTLEMEN, - Usually I have plenty of spare time, and would be with you; but, gentlemen, there is going to be a vast European war which may involve all the world except Germany in destruction. Would n't you like to know what I am going to do about it ?

HERR VON BISMARK.DEAR CRIMSON, - I would love to come if you will give me a puff in your paper.

HELENA MODJESKA.Not granted. This was too much for the equanimity of the Board. It was moved that the remaining letters, including many from prominent college officials, be laid on the table. The Board then adjourned in confusion to the Cambridge horse-car, where a business meeting was held, and it was voted to use the funds, which the paper would accumulate during the coming year, for another breakfast one year from date.

W.

* This is a famous department of this paper, and the statement is intended as a compliment.