TOP 5 ACTUAL ANIMAL COLLECTIVES

5. A pandemonium of parrots

4. A superfluity of nuns (the people)

3. A singular of boars

2. A woop of gorillas

1. An ugly of walruses

—Denise J. Xu ’11 is an outgoing Campus Arts editor. A baby platypus is a puggle.

TOP 5 REALITY TV HEAD-SCRATCHERS

Most of my time at The Crimson has consisted of writing reviews in exchange for playing cookie monster with free press tickets. B-town offers much in the way of aesthetic refinement, but all that classiness does get old after a while. Do it one too many times, and you find yourself short on plus-ones to the ballet.

On the other hand, you’ll never find drama—the unapologetically trashy, the outrageously juicy, and the halfhearted in-between—on the clearance rack. I’ll admit I’m hooked on it, but you probably are too; you just don’t know it yet.

So, here are the top five reality TV head-scratchers and WTF’s of this year:

5. Keeping up with the Kardashians

After a whirlwind singles stint in Miami (the radio show was nice, but bringing coke to work was not), Khloe Kardashian decides to give up the “drinking all-day” and “playing all-night” to settle down with Lamar Odom of the LA Lakers. Khloe, I gotta say, your wedding was cute—especially the part where Bruce got mad about your nine-day engagement, and then Kris got mad at him for screaming at you, and then Rob got mad at her for leaving Bruce out, and then you got mad at Rob for hesitating about walking you down the aisle, and then Kim said something like she always does, and then Bruce came around and cried.

Nice guest list too. It was heartwarming to see Phil and Kobe hanging out before the ceremony. I think I blinked and saw a just-supraliminal flash of O.J., but let’s just pretend I didn’t.

4. My Antonio