Plan:

Hi.

"I like her, I like her, I really, really like her..."

81 STUDY CARDS

The time spent looking for and finding your advisor to sign your study card is exponentially larger than the time it takes for him or her to briefly scan your concentration classes and initial it. And then, senior spring, your blockmate casually points out that you've neglected Lit and Arts B.

82 MATHER SHUTTLES

Don't let that fancy shuttle schedule fool you. Things aren't that great. They come at five past the hour, conveniently dropping you a block from section at a quarter past the hour.

83 WACKED VACATIONS

Your friends are practically taking finals as your begin spring break, and the late start in September seems good on paper until late August, when every-one's gone but your old high school teachers and your bridge-playing great uncle. Standardize, please.

84 POOL TABLES IN LOKER

We wanted a student center, not a hustling joint for brooding Fats Domino Juniors. Think ping-pong, think video games, think fun.

85 FINDING A TRIM IN THE SQUARE

It's a man's world with regards to hair care. Next time you need a cut, be sure to get it done over vacation. The pickings in the Square are painfully slim: La Flamme, or you're looking at least $40, and all La Flamme knows about unisex styling is "taking a little off the bangs." "I don't have bangs, you greasy fuck!"

86 RATS!

Those from urbania might take solace in the fact that in the middle of the night, large rodents scurry across Harvard Yard.