She'll take those two demons, young Butt-head and Beavis.
Three cheers for Jay Leno (someone should take pity)
Even Chevy could make The Tonight Show look witty
To Conan, we offer some tips for his show:
It's been done, it's passe, go to law school pronto.
Well, we've finished our business as scabs for the elves,
Now it's time to give some of these gifts to ourselves.
Paul, Brian and Liz deserve holiday breaks,
And to Pat, some Havanas--whatever it takes.
To our loving successors, the 121st guard,
We'll buy gifts for you soon at the Shops by the Yard.
Surely there we'll find items that everyone needs:
Some pepper. A kite. Or a clock made of tweed.
The 120th guard's glory-days are near done,
Who cares about friendly? We're not here for fun.
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