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\r\n\r\nThere are many obvious reasons that Harvard is better than Yale, but here’s one we don’t talk about enough: Harvard has “intellectual vitality.” As far as Google will tell me, this is a term only used at Harvard and sort-of Stanford (along with in the college admissions “how genuinely curious about the world is this 17-year-old” sense). So, I figured even if we didn’t win the game (which we obviously didn’t), I could win on the front of intellectual vitality during the fateful Saturday. I prepared some questions and set off in search of both practicing intellectual vitality and figuring out what it actually is.
\r\n\r\nThe Pregame
\r\n\r\nI started off at my roommate’s pregame, which was full of guys who are friends with him but I barely know. This was the perfect opportunity to ask some of my intellectually vital questions!
\r\n\r\n“What is the greatest issue facing our generation?” I asked.
\r\n\r\n“Skibidi Toilet,” said one guy I didn’t know. We weren’t off to a great start.
\r\n\r\nA Yalie who had somehow gotten in said the biggest issue was apathy and a lack of tolerance for diverging viewpoints. Sounds like this guy’s been at Harvard for longer than one night — or at least read some op-eds published in The Crimson!
\r\n\r\nThen I asked about the trolley problem, with one Harvard student on one track and three Yale students on the other. My roommate said to run over the Yale students and then come back for the Harvard student, to make sure it’s equal. Everyone else agreed. This struck me as very intellectually vital. We had established that one Harvard student is worth three Yale students.
\r\n\r\nI asked the room what they thought intellectual vitality actually was. “Not this,” one guy said. I was discouraged. If this wasn’t intellectual vitality, what was I supposed to do? I decided to channel the Harvard spirit and change nothing about how I would operate for the rest of the day. I couldn’t change my methodology, so I had to change my sample.
\r\n\r\nThe Tailgate
\r\n\r\nI went to the unofficial tailgate, but it seemed like people were too busy playing pong to decide what the most pressing issue of our generation was. So I collected my official drink tickets, armed myself with an Angry Orchard, and found my friend’s blocking group.
\r\n\r\nI asked one of them what the most pressing issue of our generation was. She said it was a lack of information. This was going better!
\r\n\r\nThen I asked about the trolley problem. She said, “Kill all Yalies.” Ok, maybe a bit less intellectually vital.
\r\n\r\nI came up with a new question: is it possible for a Harvard-Yale relationship to survive? Someone else in my friend’s blocking group said that it was, if only the Yalie gave up their morals. I was shocked to learn that Yalies have morals. I could feel the vitality in my intellect increasing.
\r\n\r\nThen we all chugged White Claws and got ready to enter the stadium.
\r\n\r\nThe Game
\r\n\r\nI must confess that I forgot about intellectual vitality during the first half of the game. I was too busy mourning our score. But during halftime, whatever the marching bands had going on reminded me of my task. Maybe I hadn’t been random enough in my sample, and that was why I wasn’t getting to the bottom of what intellectual vitality actually is.
\r\n\r\nI turned to the random people in the stands behind me, explained my mission, and asked them about the most pressing issue of our generation.
\r\n\r\n“Kink shaming.” Confusing, but interesting. I couldn’t hold myself back from asking my real question:
\r\n\r\n“What actually is intellectual vitality?”
\r\n\r\n“Learning to accept people, including their kinks.” Somehow, that didn’t seem right.
\r\n\r\nThe person sitting next to them said, “It’s using your head.” I couldn’t tell if that was related to the kink thing. Then the game started again, and I watched our painful defeat.
\r\n\r\nThe End of the Game
\r\n\r\nIn the fourth quarter, I felt dismayed. We were going to lose the game, and I didn’t even learn anything about intellectual vitality. I had had no opportunities to confront diverging viewpoints and show how OK I was with them. I had only met one person who seemed more conservative than me, and he was from Yale! Maybe I should have argued more with the kink guy, I thought. But was it more intellectually vital to consider seriously that kink shaming was the greatest issue of our generation? Or Skibidi Toilet?
\r\n\r\nBut, suddenly, like an angel descending from intellectual vitality heaven, I saw a large plastic bag floating through the air near the Harvard student section. It danced through the sky above the field before settling in the seats just behind the end zone. It reminded me: intellectual vitality, like a plastic bag drifting through the wind wanting to start again, is about the journey, not the destination. I had held space for my own intellectual vitality even on one of the most raucous days of the Harvard year. If I discovered what the elusive term “intellectual vitality” actually meant, rather than trying to understand it based on the actual non-Harvard definitions of those words, then my journey would be over.
\r\n\r\nMaybe I’ll never know what intellectual vitality actually is or whether it was worth practicing at a football game just to write a silly article that hopefully somebody is reading. But if I know one thing about intellectual vitality, it’s this: Yale will NEVER do it as well as we do.
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