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As we inch closer to finals season, you may find yourself wanting to shake off any attachments you’ve made in your free-er days. That, or you want a step by step of what not to do if you’re looking to keep a significant other (S/O) at Harvard. Either way, here is a list of surefire ways to end a relationship at Harvard (exercise caution):

1. Ask to grab coffee and not a shot (i.e. seeing them in the daylight)

Time is a precious resource at Harvard, which is why threatening to take away the few daylight hours is a definite no-go. Those are reserved for classes and clubs, which is why attempting to encroach on that will 1,000 percent end badly. If you’re looking to deter all future invites, try inviting them to a coffee chat rather than a one-in-the-morning shot, and see how it goes.

2. Plan for the future

The chances are that most Harvard students are already attempting to juggle more than a few long term commitments. Whether it’s CBE or Hum 10, most quotas are already filled, so the best thing you can do to lose your partner is enthusiastically talk about the future. I would personally pull out the G-Cal and start trying to block out all their weekends for the next month — I guarantee you will never hear from them again.

3. Respond quickly

Nothing is more repulsive than someone showing avid interest in you, so try your hardest to demonstrate that you actually enjoy talking to them — they'll turn and run. Also like #2, being too available is always a deterrent; who wants someone they’d actually be able to see? Respond quickly and enthusiastically, you’ll never hear from them again!

4. Be a Harvard student (and, if you’re straight, a woman)

This one might work for everyone, but it works best for straight women looking to lose a guy. Harvard men hold their pride close to their hearts, which is why they will see any threat to that as an immediate turn off. That’s why the best thing for you to do is subtly flex things that no one, let alone a man at Harvard, wants to see — like a better pset grade than him. This may work with papers too, but something about a woman in STEM is terrifying to the average man at Harvard.

5. Want romance

Unfortunately, this campus is not known for its plethora of romantic opportunities – the standard seems to be dhall or library dates. Fortunately for you, this makes it a great idea to vocalize your expectations for lots of romance and intimacy from a Harvard student. A mention of a moonlit walk along the Charles or dinner at Toscano’s will be enough to send any romantic interest running! Ask for maximum effort dates — preferably ones that involve swiping a credit card and not an ID.

Closely adhering to these 5 points should guarantee that you will be single (and, honestly, happy!), probably for a long time. Of course, this list is meant for a stereotypical Harvard partner, so you run the risk of not deterring someone who doesn’t exactly fit the grossly generalized archetype this is based off of. That being said, hopefully it gives you some inspiration for your next victim/talking stage.