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Between daylight savings making the Yard pitch black by 4:30 p.m. and the endless stream of midterms and assignments, it feels like most of us are running on fumes. Tired of every conversation in the dhall circling back to our collective exhaustion, I challenged myself to go one whole day without uttering the phrase “I’m tired.” Spoiler: I failed spectacularly (it took me five minutes after waking up).

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Anyways, here’s your guide to gaslighting yourself and your body that you’re actually thriving and super well-rested!

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Time Your REM Cycle

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Newton’s laws might be haunting you in Physics 16, but they’re onto something about bodies at rest staying at rest. Why is it so easy to stay awake until 6 a.m. but so hard to wake up at 6 a.m.? I’m somehow able to stay up super late, but I’m unable to ever wake up early enough to get to my 10:30 a.m. section on time. Without multiple forces acting on you (your alarm, a kind roommate waking you up, or the screaming children from the preschool across the street), getting out of bed can feel like an impossible feat.

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Pro tip: Use a REM sleep cycle calculator to figure out when to set your alarm. When you wake up during deeper stages of sleep, like REM sleep, you’ll feel more groggy as you go throughout the day. However, when you wake up at the end of a REM sleep cycle, which is when sleep is lightest, this can help you feel more rested and ready to start the day. Bonus, if you have a smartwatch, some of them are even able to figure out when you are at your lightest stage of sleep based on your heart rate and other metrics, and your alarm will go off then accordingly.

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Curate Your Wake-Up Playlist

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When the struggle to leave your blanket cocoon is real, blast some uptempo music to hype yourself up. Personal favorites include Chappell Roan’s “Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl,” “Feminomenon,” and “HOT TO GO!” to force me to get out of bed. Alternatively, you could just wake up to your pregame mix.

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Vitamin C: Your New Best Friend

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Forget your daily Veritaffle — Vitamin C is the real MVP, especially when the Cambridge winter has you questioning your college and life choices. Keep those supplements handy for an energy boost that doesn’t require making the trek to Blank Street.

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Secure Breakfast

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While I’ve only managed to catch breakfast a total of three times this semester, I’m here to tell you that breakfast is worth setting that alarm for. You’ll feel so much better throughout the day because your brain has been nourished, and breakfast is the most important meal of the day (cliché, but true). And even if you can’t make it to breakfast, grabbing a sweet treat like an almond croissant at some point throughout the day still counts (at least that’s what I tell myself).

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The Nuclear Option: The All-Nighter Reset

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PSA: Don’t make this a habit, or your circadian rhythm will actually crash out. But sometimes, pulling an all-nighter and embracing your inner Lamonster is the only way to really reset and regain a functional sleep schedule. Down an energy drink to make it through the day and then go to bed by 11 p.m. the next day. It’s like turning a computer on and off, but it’s actually your sleep schedule and sanity. While I’m not the biggest proponent of caffeine or energy drinks, desperate times call for desperate measures.

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We’re in the home stretch! Thanksgiving break is so close, and winter break isn’t far behind. And even if the sun has set by your 4 p.m. section, together, we’ve got this.

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This writer is currently surviving on nothing but sweet treats and sheer willpower.

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As the leaves fall and HUDS rolls out the pumpkin pie, we’re reflecting on the little things that make Harvard life just a bit sweeter. Grab a plate, pass the gratitude, and let’s dig in.

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HUDS cookies

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HUDS cookies may not be warm or particularly fresh, and, yes, they kind of taste like cardboard — but they’re always there for you. When the menu says “fresh local catch” and you’re not feeling adventurous, those slightly-stale, always-dependable cookies are a safe harbor. In a world of academic and culinary uncertainty, their unchanging mediocrity is strangely comforting.

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Brain Break

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Brain Break: the magical time when Harvard students can put aside their worries and focus on what really matters: free snacks. Whether it’s grabbing a handful of pretzels or forming lifelong friendships over a shared plate of hummus, Brain Break is a much needed pause from essays and psets. It’s a moment to recharge, then wonder how a 10-minute pause can somehow last an hour.

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Flexing on family members

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Thanksgiving is the Super Bowl of flexing for Harvard students — it’s the prime time to remind everyone you’re not the family disappointment. Nobody at the table knows what “Michael Sandel’s critique of meritocracy” actually means, but the nods of approval are what really matter.

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Tourists

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If you really think about it, Harvard students should be thankful for tourists — those fearless fans who treat campus like a movie set and turn every student into an accidental celebrity. Walking down the Widener steps can feel like strutting down the red carpet as cameras click away. They might think you’re a future president (at least they don’t know you’re just someone heading to EC10). For a brief moment, you’re the star of their Harvard fantasy, and honestly, who doesn’t love a little ego boost between midterms?

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No questions asked extension days

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Professors don’t always offer extension days, but when they do, they’re the academic equivalent of a Thanksgiving miracle. It’s always such a relief to check the syllabus and find out you have three extra days to do anything besides your work. No explanations required, no guilt trips, just a quiet acknowledgement that life happens. These rare gems of mercy allow students to breathe a little easier, even if that extra day is spent binge-watching a show “to clear the mind.”

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Office hours that turn into life advice sessions

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Every student has that one professor who turns office hours into a cross between a therapy session and a TED Talk. You go in to ask about a term paper but leave with insights on everything from career choices to the meaning of life. Sure, the paper’s still due tomorrow, but at least you’ve been reminded that your GPA doesn’t define your self-worth.

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So, this Thanksgiving, let’s raise a glass to the things that make Harvard more than just a campus. Whether it’s finding comfort in the unremarkable or flexing your academic superiority in front of relatives who still think “psets” are a typo, these are the moments that remind us why we’re here. And if all else fails, at least there’s always an extension day on the horizon.

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As a senior and a former LS1b student, I was both intrigued and excited to finally witness the Yale Bulldog Roast. I will admit from the get-go that I did in fact think that the entire two hours would be filled with Andrew Berry making school-appropriate snarky comments on the Yalies, which I wasn’t particularly opposed to, but a little curious about how one could have that much to say about a school located in New Haven. Upon my arrival, I was incredibly pleasantly surprised to see there was a jam-packed program of student performances in addition to Berry, who was to headline the actual roast session. Was the trek to Sanders Theatre rainy and cold? Yes. Did I have piles of work to finish before the big game? Also yes. But hey, nothing warms the soul quite like some quality roasts — except maybe actually finishing my assignments, which, spoiler alert, did not happen.

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The Marching Band

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To kick off the event, they started right at 7 p.m. At a school where Harvard time is a little too normalized (I’m speaking my truth), it was refreshing that the band was so punctual. I’ve never really had the opportunity to watch a marching band perform due to the lack of school spirit in my high school, so I didn’t really know what to expect. The heavy brass and percussion, the grandeur movements, and the continuous melody filled my pset-hardened heart with a school spirit I had not felt before. I just really wish there was a program because I didn’t recognize the songs :( The cherry on top was when they started singing — multitasking kings and queens.

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Side note: After the wonderful marching band performance, they finally played the spiel about locating the nearest exit in case of an emergency… but what if there was an emergency before then?

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THUD

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I don’t think I’d ever heard of The Harvard Undergraduate Drummers (THUD) before but they quickly became my favorite performance of the night. Not only did they prove the versatility of a Home Depot bucket, but also they genuinely produced the most coordinated and elaborate drumming performance I’ve ever seen. It was honestly heartwarming because it felt like the group was genuinely there to have fun and share their passion for percussion. I went in expecting to hate on the Yalies and came out a THUD fan.

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The Radcliffe Choral Society and The Harvard Glee Club

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As a former chorus kid, I was very partial to this joint effort between the Radcliffe Choral Society and The Harvard Glee Club to culture the rest of us who, I’m willing to bet, did not know Harvard had so many school songs. The altos KILLED IT. As a fellow alto, I was proud to hear y’all loud and clear. My only wish was that they showed the lyrics on screen so that we could’ve showed up and showed out at the game.

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AADT

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As always, AADT ate. LOVED the performance, no notes, literally on my knees because they are so hot — I can only hope that one day I will have the level of coordination to be able to dance like that. My one confusion, however, was the color of the outfits. I couldn’t help but notice that they were repping the opps? Perhaps it was an unintentional fashion statement or a way to express good sportsmanship. Either way, I can forgive them due to their jaw-dropping moves.

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HCSUCS

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I, for one, am a big fan of both stand-up comedy and the acronym HCSUCS. I thought the Rick cardboard cutout was a nice touch. I also appreciated the level of prep that went into each of the sets. To the comedian who stood up their Yale interviewer… You are so brave, and I wish to have that confidence one day. Perhaps I will finally have the guts to stand up one of my lectures.

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Andrew Berry

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Now, the star of the show was really Berry’s roast. Despite initial technical difficulties (I was convinced it was part of the bit and Berry was going to announce, “Now you know what it’s like to sit through a Yale lecture”), Berry pulled out his incredibly well-put-together slideshow (cue flashbacks to LS1b). Not only was his set actually really informative (i.e., we beat Yale in basically every aspect: inbreeding in bulldogs, college rankings, projected income), but Berry also aired out all of Yale’s dirty laundry. The fact that Yalies treat their laundry machines like toilets made me feel a little better about one of our own traditions. If I’m being honest, I came into this with high hopes but low expectations, and my socks were kinda knocked off.

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If you have never been to the Yale Bulldog Roast, I highly recommend going at least once if you have the chance (crying in senior). Albeit, I think most of the audience were freshmen, it was a cool way to see student performances and a great way to get into the school spirit. I know the game has passed, but Harvard-Yale really extends beyond a football game. It’s a mindset and a lifestyle. We’ll get ’em next year (knock on wood), and maybe the win is the enemies we made along the way.

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There are many obvious reasons that Harvard is better than Yale, but here’s one we don’t talk about enough: Harvard has “intellectual vitality.” As far as Google will tell me, this is a term only used at Harvard and sort-of Stanford (along with in the college admissions “how genuinely curious about the world is this 17-year-old” sense). So, I figured even if we didn’t win the game (which we obviously didn’t), I could win on the front of intellectual vitality during the fateful Saturday. I prepared some questions and set off in search of both practicing intellectual vitality and figuring out what it actually is.

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The Pregame

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I started off at my roommate’s pregame, which was full of guys who are friends with him but I barely know. This was the perfect opportunity to ask some of my intellectually vital questions!

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“What is the greatest issue facing our generation?” I asked.

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“Skibidi Toilet,” said one guy I didn’t know. We weren’t off to a great start.

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A Yalie who had somehow gotten in said the biggest issue was apathy and a lack of tolerance for diverging viewpoints. Sounds like this guy’s been at Harvard for longer than one night — or at least read some op-eds published in The Crimson!

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Then I asked about the trolley problem, with one Harvard student on one track and three Yale students on the other. My roommate said to run over the Yale students and then come back for the Harvard student, to make sure it’s equal. Everyone else agreed. This struck me as very intellectually vital. We had established that one Harvard student is worth three Yale students.

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I asked the room what they thought intellectual vitality actually was. “Not this,” one guy said. I was discouraged. If this wasn’t intellectual vitality, what was I supposed to do? I decided to channel the Harvard spirit and change nothing about how I would operate for the rest of the day. I couldn’t change my methodology, so I had to change my sample.

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The Tailgate

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I went to the unofficial tailgate, but it seemed like people were too busy playing pong to decide what the most pressing issue of our generation was. So I collected my official drink tickets, armed myself with an Angry Orchard, and found my friend’s blocking group.

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I asked one of them what the most pressing issue of our generation was. She said it was a lack of information. This was going better!

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Then I asked about the trolley problem. She said, “Kill all Yalies.” Ok, maybe a bit less intellectually vital.

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I came up with a new question: is it possible for a Harvard-Yale relationship to survive? Someone else in my friend’s blocking group said that it was, if only the Yalie gave up their morals. I was shocked to learn that Yalies have morals. I could feel the vitality in my intellect increasing.

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Then we all chugged White Claws and got ready to enter the stadium.

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The Game

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I must confess that I forgot about intellectual vitality during the first half of the game. I was too busy mourning our score. But during halftime, whatever the marching bands had going on reminded me of my task. Maybe I hadn’t been random enough in my sample, and that was why I wasn’t getting to the bottom of what intellectual vitality actually is.

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I turned to the random people in the stands behind me, explained my mission, and asked them about the most pressing issue of our generation.

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“Kink shaming.” Confusing, but interesting. I couldn’t hold myself back from asking my real question:

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“What actually is intellectual vitality?”

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“Learning to accept people, including their kinks.” Somehow, that didn’t seem right.

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The person sitting next to them said, “It’s using your head.” I couldn’t tell if that was related to the kink thing. Then the game started again, and I watched our painful defeat.

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The End of the Game

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In the fourth quarter, I felt dismayed. We were going to lose the game, and I didn’t even learn anything about intellectual vitality. I had had no opportunities to confront diverging viewpoints and show how OK I was with them. I had only met one person who seemed more conservative than me, and he was from Yale! Maybe I should have argued more with the kink guy, I thought. But was it more intellectually vital to consider seriously that kink shaming was the greatest issue of our generation? Or Skibidi Toilet?

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But, suddenly, like an angel descending from intellectual vitality heaven, I saw a large plastic bag floating through the air near the Harvard student section. It danced through the sky above the field before settling in the seats just behind the end zone. It reminded me: intellectual vitality, like a plastic bag drifting through the wind wanting to start again, is about the journey, not the destination. I had held space for my own intellectual vitality even on one of the most raucous days of the Harvard year. If I discovered what the elusive term “intellectual vitality” actually meant, rather than trying to understand it based on the actual non-Harvard definitions of those words, then my journey would be over.

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Maybe I’ll never know what intellectual vitality actually is or whether it was worth practicing at a football game just to write a silly article that hopefully somebody is reading. But if I know one thing about intellectual vitality, it’s this: Yale will NEVER do it as well as we do.

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{shortcode-4614d5c3e10276d1e77df874fcecc6f39a69b343}It’s no secret that Harvard is a world renowned institution. We have Nobel Prize-winning professors, Rhodes Scholars for peers, and students who will go on to cure cancer… or go into finance. But what most of the outside world does not know is that we have another iconic campus celebrity: Dean of the College Rakesh Khurana.

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As dean, Khurana is in charge of fostering community among undergraduates and promoting a free exchange of ideas on campus through the Intellectual Vitality Initiative he spearheaded. More importantly, however, he is in charge of every Harvard student’s favorite Instagram page (@deankhurana). Getting a selfie with Khurana is, at this point, the fourth College tradition. So what better way to honor our beloved dean before he steps down later this year than to recreate some of his most iconic Harvard-Yale photos!

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No Introduction Needed

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You’ve all seen this photo from last year’s Harvard-Yale game. After all, it’s the fourth most upvoted Sidechat post of all time, and if you’re anything like me, this is the first picture that you envision when you think of Harvard-Yale. It perfectly captures the average student’s zeal for life and for doing ridiculous things “for the plot.”

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It’s this mindset that inspired me to write this article, regardless of the embarrassment I knew I would feel in the moment while mimicking Khurana’s pose in the middle of campus. All I could do as I knelt on the grass with my Sasha and Heidi (Yale’s Sasha dupe) substitutes (see: my penguin and elephant stuffed animals) is remind myself that if Khurana could do this pose and feel confident in posting it, I could too. I think this is a mindset that we could all benefit from during the last weeks of 2024. But, hey, no judgment if you choose not to recreate this photo – that’s what you have me for!

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Enemies to Lovers

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Love knows no bounds – it traverses the 134-mile distance between New Haven and Cambridge. As much as Harvard students love to feed into the Y*le hatred, we make sure to put aside our differences during the Game. It’s only natural that Khurana and Dean of Yale College Pericles Lewis do the same. (Sidenote: it’s important to note that Khurana has 22,600 Instagram followers, whereas Lewis has 4,523… not that I mean to suggest any one school or Dean is better.)

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Pictured above is a photo of Khurana and Lewis embracing in their best Yale merch following Yale’s win last year. Although Khurana was roped into repping our rival school because of Harvard’s loss, he did so graciously and with his signature smile. In the face of defeat, Khurana stood as a beacon of light and hope.

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These upstanding characteristics are what drew me to the second photo I decided to recreate. Since I do not have Yale merch, nor do any of my friends, for obvious reasons, I quickly improvised by printing out their University logo and taping it onto my bluest of blue sweatshirts. All I needed then was my own Lewis, which I quickly procured by forcing one of my suitemates to pose with me. #community #love #HarvardYaleuniteseveryone

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Lewis pt. 2

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As my night of costume changes grew longer, my suitemate grew tired and I had to swap her out with my backup Lewis: Son Heung-Min. Ok, that’s kind of clickbait – it’s him but in plushie version (see above). Once I printed out a smaller Yale logo to tape over his soccer jersey number and found a miscellaneous lanyard to hang around his neck to make him seem more lifelike, all I had to do was figure out Khurana’s signature selfie tilt.

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Although this sounds easy in theory, Khurana’s photos defy all laws of nature and are tilted at an angle I could not quite figure out, even after many, many failed attempts. I kept tilting my phone too far left or too far right, and too low or too high up. After sifting through 30 photos and hating every single one, I found the one. It’s still not at a perfect angle, but it’s the best that I could do. And hey, it got Heung-Min’s stamp of approval so that’s all that matters.

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Undergraduate Joy

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Yup, even though I had so much difficulty with perfecting Khurana’s tilt in the previous recreation, I decided to choose yet another slanted selfie. This time, however, my biggest challenge was not tilting my phone at the right angle; it was finding four willing participants to join me in my selfie.

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After canvassing my suite and being faced with empty room after empty room, I had to improvise. Luckily, since my common room is full of more pillows and plushies than one could ever need, I was able to substitute the four smiling undergraduates with the five equally smiley members of One Direction. As for the stadium packed with onlookers, my suite’s ever-growing Polaroid wall of guests – pictured in the background – is as much of a substitute as I could manage at the last minute.

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Civic Duty = Repping Crimson

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{shortcode-8e3245aae21a07d602895054e2adc443864a2f02}

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{shortcode-ec7d78fab362f7ae946a2b001692aac2f97000d5}

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Ok, I know this photo of Khurana is not from Harvard-Yale, but it’s too iconic not to include in my recreations. And in a way, this photo’s “vibes” are very Harvard-Yale because of the red and blue of the “I voted” sticker that he is holding. Even in his daily life, Khurana is always proudly repping Crimson.

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This photo quickly went viral among the Harvard community and garnered more likes and shares for Khurana than his average posts. The most probable explanation for this is the hilarious juxtaposition between his extremely grim face and his cheery and hopeful caption of “Exercising my rights.”

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Whatever the reasoning behind the popularity of the post, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to recreate it with my own “I voted by mail” sticker. With Harvard-Yale coming up, I hope you all exercise your rights and fulfill your civic duty of showing up and showing out at Harvard Stadium to see us beat the Bulldogs. Yuck Fale!

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With Khurana’s tenure coming to an end, it’s bittersweet to think about the end of the beloved Khuranagram. Though we may no longer be digitally captured in the trenches of Cabot Library or looking disheveled as we rush to our 9 a.m. classes, it’s important to remember that his photos will forever live on and leave a legacy of their own. So, if you’re ever feeling down, don’t forget that you can always turn to the photo of him kneeling with Sasha and Heidi to make you smile!

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('

{shortcode-0bfd56e68fc6f0c2455a16dee712a0a0df8258fa}With Harvard-Yale just around the corner and cuffing season in full swing, there’s no better time to secure a relationship. However, instead of settling for just any old relationship (based on boring things like love, mutual interests, and chemistry), this H-Y season, aim for the relationship that will get you the most clout. And thanks to this year’s Super Bowl, we don’t have to look far for inspiration. If you’re anything like me and my friends, watching Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce embrace after his iconic win had you thinking: “Wow, maybe I should date an athlete” or “Can I find a hockey boyfriend in time for Beanpot?”.

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Thankfully, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s relationship gives us the blueprint for something even better than a hug after a Super Bowl win: congratulating your partner after winning Harvard-Yale, our very own version of the Super Bowl.

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Step 1: Find a niche

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If you really want to make the most of your clout-seeking relationship, you will need to be successful enough that people are watching you. Because Taylor Swift is a mega-popstar, Grammy award-winning mega-pop star, people are interested in who she is dating and what she is up to. If you want to have a big camera moment of your own at Harvard-Yale moment, you need to make people notice you. Luckily, this is Harvard, so your options are endless. You could join The Crimson and write an investigative piece behind Dean Khurana’s Instagram: “Really Him, or Is There a Publicist Behind it All?”. Or, if you’re feeling up to it, get to the bottom of the transformative experience; this just-in: “Transformative Experience is a Hoax”.

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If writing isn’t your thing, you could always follow in Taylor’s footsteps and join one of the million a cappella groups on campus. If Pitch Perfect has taught us anything, you would not be the first to vocally percuss yourself into a relationship. Or you could join a consulting club like CBE or HCCG and work your way to the top. As a board member, you’ll have the attention of all the compers desperate to join. If you’re funny (or, at the very least, funny for a Harvard student), you can hop on Sidechat and make your way up the leaderboard. Hundreds of thousands of points in karma is a sure way to achieve celebrity status.

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Step 2: Date. A lot.

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Between psets and your Hum 10 readings, it may be difficult to find the time to meet people… but this is an essential part of getting your big moment at Harvard-Yale. Remember quantity over quality, and the messier, the better. So, if you’ve ever had a crush on someone in your pset group or the annoying section kid makes a move, now is your time. Similarly, if you've just been letting your Datamatches go unmatched (c’mon it’s been months), take action. Get your free Berryline (and free content) and get out there!

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Step 3: Your life is your content

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Now that you’ve found your niche, it’s time for your relationship and niche to go hand in hand. Maybe mention your latest date in a riff-off between the Radcliffe Pitches and the Opportunes: bonus points if they’re in the competing club. If you choose consulting as your niche, include an anecdote about newfound trust issues in your weekly slide deck, or better yet, on a call with your client. As a member on the Sidechat leaderboard, you have the perfect opportunity to talk about your ex (or exes, if you’re doing it right) as often as you want. And if you’re a Crimson writer, you’ll have ample opportunities to detail your last relationships, just as long as you subtly work them into your latest article.

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Step 4: Find a partner with a niche very different from yours

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This is the most crucial step. Your partner’s niche must be so different from yours that it leaves people wondering how you even met. Your partner must be equally successful at their chosen activity, preferably football if you want that Harvard-Yale moment. It is imperative that you both embody the same power-couple aesthetic that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce have, or the cameras might just miss you.

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Step 5: THE GAME

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Now that you have manufactured the perfect relationship, it is time for the 30-second clip to capture all that affection. You’ll ideally attend the game with another successful friend who is also completely uninterested in football. In other words, find your Ice Spice. You’ll convince everyone of your true love by celebrating your partner’s win while your friend wonders why she agreed to come to this. Make sure you drag it out when Harvard inevitably wins the game. Instead of rushing to your partner’s side, let it linger to build suspense. You want people to wonder where you are, just before you appear for that award-winning hug.

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It’s easy to get lost in GenEd readings and forget that a little drama keeps everyone on their toes. So this college football season, block out November in your Google calendar and stir up your own drama.

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('

{shortcode-6d4d6e9573b4f126a62fe2e3fa44b4eda1c53fed}You heard of Harvard cocktails, but have you heard of Harvard-Yale cocktails? Here are some school-spirited takes on classic cocktails to get you in the Harvard-Yale spirit this weekend. Go Crimson!

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{shortcode-f1db55a39782dfb8bf557985a54ca85bdbdc48a0}While winning the actual game is one aspect of proving to the Ivy League that Harvard is the best (not that we have to), everyone knows that the real battle at Harvard-Yale is which student section shows the most school pride. Yelling, posters, and tailgates all thrive on a crowd. If you’re hosting Yale students and want to knock your enemies off their game, take them to these four places — it’ll send them Ubering all the way back to New Haven before Saturday morning.

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1. Widener

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This is the first stop on your Harvard tour. It's nonchalant and lowkey, and it’ll give them a false sense of security before going in that will make them even more terrified of the next stops. Show them the main rooms, let them marvel at Harvard’s beauty. Then take them to the stacks. Slowly start to walk around, then quickly run to the elevator without them, and if you can turn the automatic lights off, do it. Leave them behind.

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2. Lamont Basement Bathroom

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Once you have reunited with your Yale student, pretend to be confused — they will believe you, since they have a false superiority complex that they’re smarter than us. Lead them to Lamont basement. Then, pretend to need a bathroom break; enough said.

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3. The Quad

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After scaring the Yalie (for the second time), they’ll need a scenic walk to cool off and explore the beauties of campus. Take that 30 15-minute walk to the Quad. Sit in the lawn chains. Play spikeball with fellow students, and be aggressive. Then, in the middle of playing, run to the shuttle stop and don’t look back. Just like many Harvard students who don’t know how to walk from the Quad to the River, the poor, confused, and hopefully directionally challenged Yale student will have no choice but to embrace the quadded life.

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4. Tasty Basty

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Your final stop of the night is Tasty Basty; it’s never great, and they charge a cover at the door. The sweaty environment full of freshmen, combined with the muscle fatigue and mental strain from the day, will make them so exhausted they have no choice but to retreat to New Haven before The Game.

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If your Yale student somehow sticks around after this transformative Harvard experience, just turn their alarm off in the morning and leave before they wake up. They will probably sleep through the game, but they hopefully won’t miss their shuttle back home. They’ve got a long way to go, and it would be an expensive Uber back, especially combined with their mental failure. Have a safe and fun Harvard-Yale, and bring energy to the game. Roll Crim!

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{shortcode-75aaf34be2f9136d6de8849581b6f16f592ea05f}

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If you offered to host a Yale student on your couch or floor this weekend, you might be a little confused about the proper etiquette. Sure, you’d like to seem like a gracious host — and maybe secure yourself a spot on their floor next year — but this weekend is about rivalry, not manners. You must keep your guest/rival on their toes; your school pride is at stake! If you’re searching frantically for ways to assert your superiority while not descending to overt hostility, we have some ideas to add to your to-do list. (We realize that the pre-HY weekend workload is never light, so sorry, but you’re welcome.)

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Give them a fake curfew.

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If you’re an upperclassman, skip ahead. This particular trick only works if you live in the Yard. (So this isn’t for the Union Dorm folks, either.) As they always do during particularly high-traffic weekends, the gates to the Yard close to all non-HUID folk at some nebulous time after dark. (There’s definitely an official time that they close, but I no longer live in the Yard, so I’ve stopped caring.) Inform your guest that this year’s gate closure has been set obscenely early, and they’ll have no choice but to believe you and skip the nighttime festivities; after all, the sun sets past 4:30 p.m. these days anyway. Alternatively, tell them that they’re free to stay out of the Yard until 2 a.m., and place bets with your friends on whether they’ll make it back to sleep on your floorboards after all.

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Treat them like a princess.

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Not Sleeping Beauty, though. For this weekend, you’ll need to reference “The Princess and the Pea.” Assemble every spare blanket you can muster in a tantalizing display of your generosity and prosperity, but slip your Harvard College pin underneath it all. (With the protective cover on, please! We do not condone stabbing.) Your hostee’s night of sleep will suffer, but they won’t be able to complain without seeming super high-maintenance.

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Let them leave their sleeping bags at home.

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And roll out the red carpet for them instead! By red carpet, we mean your standard-issue Veritas picnic blanket, which (a) has been washed a total of zero to one times, (b) is rather thin, and (c) will force them to dream of the Crimson Wave all night long.

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Express polite interest in their school.

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How’s Handsome Dan? How many Handsome Dans have there been? Why have there been so many Handsome Dans? Do you think that there have ever been multiple Handsome Dans at once? Would you take a photo of me with Handsome Dan? What’s Handsome Dan’s favorite food? What’s his favorite color? Where does Handsome Dan live? Where’s he staying over the weekend? Is he an early bird or a night owl? Do you think he would let me pet him? Who would win in a fight, Handsome Dan or a turkey?

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Sabotage their Game Day apparel.

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This one feels rather mean-spirited, so let’s speak in hypotheticals. Perhaps you’ll guide your guest to the dining hall on the morning of The Game for a questionably delicious breakfast. Maybe you’ll guide them through the lines to gather some sustenance and then to the drink station for some much-needed caffeine. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll start serving yourself a glass of cranberry cocktail only to — oopsie! — fall over and spill it all over their clothes, leaving their Yale blues a bit more Crimson. And then, maybe, they’ll be forced to sit in the Yale student section wearing a mix of red, blue, and purple, looking a little bit like a crazy person, because it will be far too cold to sacrifice a layer…

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Feel free to try all or none of the ideas on this list out on your guest. Just please don’t attribute them to us if your hostee turns from unsuspecting to very suspicious; we’d rather not be accosted by indignant Yalies while we shiver in the stadium this Saturday.

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{shortcode-160355a3319fe26673106d11a027ca27a37bcd38}

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Everyone knows the best way to reach college students is with free food — every club advertisement I have seen has had free Trader Joe’s snacks or ice cream from the Square. If you have found yourself tapping your card daily to get your fix of caffeine or want to avoid the often underwhelming taste of HUDS, this guide will show you how to get a full day’s worth of good food for free (or heavily discounted).

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Early risings: Caffeine needed ASAP

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If you have committed, like many of my sleep-deprived peers, to walking into your first class every day wielding a Blank Street coffee, you know how expensive it can be. Thankfully, you can make this flex a far cheaper endeavor. Convince a friend to invest with you in Blank Street’s Regulars program. For $17.99/week, you can get 14 coffees for free, meaning you and your bestie can be caffeinated every morning for a fraction of the cost.

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But, if you’re like me and want something truly free, you may want to consider a different caffeine source: energy drinks. Spend a bit of time on the weekends to head out to local events (Head of the Charles Regatta, Oktoberfest, etc.) and stock up. Additionally, if you find a free vendor, push them for everything they will give you. Get as many free caffeinated and carbonated beverages as you can handle: your bank account will thank you.

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Feeling ravenous after 9 a.m. section: Time for breakfast

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Now that you have already fueled from your favorite coffee spot, it's time for the next most logical thing: go back to a café for a quick breakfast bite! And there’s no better place than Dunkin Donuts. Joining Dunkin’s rewards program and checking the daily deals has given me countless free or very cheap breakfasts, and it's a great option if you are on the go.

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Classes have been grueling: Lunch

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Need something more filling to counteract the coffee effects? Head to CAVA for a free lunch! It’s another rewards program to join, but CAVA’s is especially worth it. When you sign up, on the day of your birthday, CAVA will give you a $9 credit to spend! If you play your cards right (the kid's meal can be very filling if you get the most from it), that is a free or heavily discounted and delicious lunch! Reuse that birthday trick as much as you want — a free meal will always taste better than a paid one. If you are willing to jeopardize your zodiac sign and become a Scorpio for the day, tomorrow might just be your CAVA birthday.

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Dinner plans with friends fall through once again: Time to scavenge on your own

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If your dinner plans seem to never make it out of the groupchat, have no fear. Flyby has the perfect solution so you don’t have to suffer through HUDS dinner alone. Most clubs on campus often have evening time meetings, and, in my experience, love to provide free food. I am not saying to join clubs solely for the sake of a complementary sandwich, but it should always be a factor. Most students do not join clubs for actual reasons other than the LinkedIn grind anyways. Having a club or two that you are a member of and can count on for some free Joe’s or Felipe’s is pretty much common sense.

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Beyond a last-minute dinner, club snacks can help you stock up for grind season. If a club meeting ever has an excess, ask if you can take those chocolate-covered pretzels from Trader Joe’s home! I promise you will be doing club leadership a favor.

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Psets are kicking your butt: Pause for a sweet treat

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Looking for something ooey-gooey (and free)? Insomnia Cookies has your back. Their rewards program gives you a free classic cookie upon sign-up, and you can make a new account every night! A good dessert can make or break your night, and even though Chip City is far better than Insomnia, a free cookie is a free cookie.

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I, like most, need to be in a certain mood for a cookie to sound good. Something I always have the appetite for, however, is ice cream. In the square, ice cream is SO expensive (talking about you, J.P. Licks). My go-to, and the way cheaper option, is Lizzy’s! While it is not free, it will save crucial dollars, and every dollar counts when it comes to cheap food options. Plus, it tastes significantly less chemical.

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From free birthday rewards to taking as many free snacks as your heart desires, there are several ways to eat free on campus. You can effortlessly steer clear away from dhall concoctions without draining the bank account. The best-tasting food is free: happy foodie-ing!

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{shortcode-0e44c73a36e13dfb14836072ea5d9667efed49e5}

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Your Harvard Student ID: you’ll need it for pretty much everything on campus. From getting into your dorm and the dhall to taking exams, this little plastic card you receive during orientation week is your golden ticket throughout your four years here at Harvard. But again, it’s just a small plastic card that can slip out the back of your phone anytime.

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When you are on the steps of Annenberg, ready to finally get lunch after five hours of morning classes, you dig through the bottom of your bag and feel only dust bunnies… Your ID isn’t there? Here’s what you do:

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Step 1: “Can you scan me into Annenberg?”

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Call up a friend who’s probably busy and drag out the situation as long as you can. You keep telling yourself, The ID will magically reappear — because hey, manifesting is a skill, right? My mom finds missing stuff all the time when I could have sworn it wasn’t there when I looked.

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Step 2: Backtrack like a detective solving a mystery

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This is when you pull out your Google Calendar and start retracing every spot you hit today. LPSA (Life and Physical Sciences A)? Time to head back to the lecture hall where you caught that quick nap before the attendance poll of the day.

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No luck? Next stop: Econ 10a. Check up in the balcony where you snuck in a second nap. Still missing? Guess it’s onto the next location...

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Step 3: Tear apart your room like a raccoon in a trash can

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It could be in my drawer? No… Hmm… Maybe under my pillow? Or under this book I thought I was going to read but haven’t yet touched?

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Now it’s time to look through every crevice — dig through your laundry pile, shake out your blankets, and even check inside your shoes. It could be anywhere!

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Step 4: “Did you happen to see my ID somewhere?”

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Now you're getting desperate. You’ve looked everywhere, and the thought of shelling out $35 for a replacement stings. So, you turn to the ultimate Hail Mary: asking everyone you’ve ever met. You text the numbers you've gathered over the year, drop a message in the massive Harvard ’28 group chat, and even ask the security guards at Lamont and Cabot. At this point, you’re basically on a first name basis with half the campus.

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Step 5: 1033 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA, 02138

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If nothing works, head over to 1033 Massachusetts Avenue. Why? Because the Harvard Police probably has it locked up in their locker!!!

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What’s worse? HUPD doesn’t even notify you when they have your ID. They’ve got all your contact info, but instead of reaching out, they just lock it away. Honestly, why don’t they just leave it where I dropped it? At least I would’ve found it by step 2.

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TL;DR If you can’t find your ID anywhere, it’s probably at HUPD. Thank me later :))

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Sick of JP Licks? Want more flavor options than Sundae Sunday at Berg? We’ve got the place for you: Honeycomb Creamery, a 15-minute walk up Mass. Ave.

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Honeycomb’s been on our go-to list for a while now, but this weekend we decided to actually embark upon this side quest. Of course, as soon as we picked a day the weather dropped ten degrees. Ice cream in 50-degree weather — why not? Undeterred, we set off from campus at a brisk pace, enjoying the fall foliage and peaceful Cambridge vibes on an overcast but otherwise lovely day.

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The walk itself was short but memorable. We encountered several turkeys, learned that a group of turkeys is called a rafter (and not, disappointingly, a gobble), and watched a man feed said rafter of turkeys. We’d also like to shout out Flyby’s wonderful investigation into the turkeys of Cambridge here.

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Once we got to Honeycomb, we found ourselves in a warm, cozy ice cream parlor. The walls had cute murals, paintings, and leaf garlands, plus relaxing music playing, creating an aesthetic vibe all around. There wasn’t much seating space, though — depending on the crowds there, you might want to consider taking your treats to go.

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Now for the ice cream. Honeycomb has a variety of staple flavors, plus seasonal ones that rotate in and out frequently. They also have vegan/gluten free options and unique soft-serve flavors like chai and horchata. If there’s a flavor you love, you can check their website beforehand to see if they’re offering it that day!

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Between the two of us, we tried three flavors: milk chocolate stracciatella, brown butter pumpkin cheesecake, and mocha hazelnut. Honeycomb was generous with their scoops — two flavors in a single small cup was more than enough to satisfy a sugar-craving Flyby writer. If you don’t want ice cream, or want even more sugar, the pastries and cookies looked fantastic, too.

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We both agreed that the texture of our ice creams was great — super creamy and thick.

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If milk chocolate’s your jam, you’ll love the stracciatella, but if you’re more of a dark chocolate person, you might find it a little too sweet. No worries, though, because Honeycomb has plenty of flavors for all sorts of chocolate aficionados.

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The highlight was definitely the seasonal flavors. Brown butter pumpkin cheesecake had chunks of cheesecake inside, and it wasn’t too sweet even with the browned butter. The ice cream had flecks of pumpkin and a distinctly autumnal taste. We also tried their mocha hazelnut with granola topping for a bit of texture — would definitely recommend it!

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The only drawback is that Honeycomb doesn’t have many conventional flavors. If you’re a mint chocolate chip girlie or a plain coffee lover, you’ll be better off sticking with the classic ice cream parlors around the square. But if you’re in the mood for some unique ice cream, definitely check it out! And although one ice cream run is probably enough sugar for this weekend, we're looking forward to our next trip there.

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As we approach 4 p.m. sunsets and Canada Goose season, finding the right place to grab a warm cup of coffee in the square becomes a top priority. Luckily, there are so many (at least 12) options! But which one to choose… Your house might be an indication!

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Eliot: Flour

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Both places capture the classic Boston (Cambridge) vibe. Very demure, very mindful.

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Kirkland: Capital One Cafe

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This caffeinated workspace is the perfect spot for any future Zuckerbergs needing the corporate vibe to get them through their startups. A little bootstrapped… but gets the job done.

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Winthrop: Black Sheep Bagels

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Look no further than these two objectively delicious options, although both have historically been known for a particular smell that detracts. Notably, both have improved their air fresheners this year.

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Lowell: Tatte

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Some may say that these are both overrated and a little bit bougie, but you can’t really go too wrong with either. And you always know that it will be bustling (and noisy)!

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Quincy: Blank Street

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As you trip off the Red Line, both venues are a quick, central stop on any Harvard student’s loop. You are bound to see every classmate — friend and foe — in these spaces!

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Adams: Starbucks

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Not my first choice and peninsular…next!

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Leverett: Peet’s

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I’m not sure why this one makes so much sense in my head, but it does. It might be something with the aesthetic of the towers matching Peet’s, or maybe it’s just that the green of the building matches the crest.

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Mather: Pavement

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Their shared Brutalist, concrete aesthetic should make this choice self explanatory. Just a stone's throw from the more aesthetic options to rest your legs, like Dunster or Tatte.

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Dunster: Blue Bottle

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These two share a newly renovated look to them while still maintaining a classic charm that perfectly fits into Harvard.

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Pfoho: Dunkin

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This one hurts a little bit. Dunkin is my own personal favorite (medium iced coffee with almond milk everyday), but we have to go off of general public opinion here, and neither Dunkin nor Pfoho has a great reputation. Both are more of an acquired taste (only one of which I’ve acquired).

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Currier: Life Alive

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I know Life Alive is technically not a coffee shop… but hear me out. Tree mascot? Tree (plant) in the middle of the dining hall? Sure sounds like a place vegans would like to me.

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Cabot: Swiss Bakers

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It’ll take you about a 20 minute walk to get to either place, but once you get there you have a great time I’m sure, though I have yet to take a trip to either this year. (Sometimes the Quad is just not worth it.) Also, rest assured, no first-years have heard of either spot.

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At the end of the day everyone has their own coffee shop pride just like their house pride, but in the end, you really can’t go wrong with any dining hall or study spot.

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As we inch closer to finals season, you may find yourself wanting to shake off any attachments you’ve made in your free-er days. That, or you want a step by step of what not to do if you’re looking to keep a significant other (S/O) at Harvard. Either way, here is a list of surefire ways to end a relationship at Harvard (exercise caution):

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1. Ask to grab coffee and not a shot (i.e. seeing them in the daylight)

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Time is a precious resource at Harvard, which is why threatening to take away the few daylight hours is a definite no-go. Those are reserved for classes and clubs, which is why attempting to encroach on that will 1,000 percent end badly. If you’re looking to deter all future invites, try inviting them to a coffee chat rather than a one-in-the-morning shot, and see how it goes.

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2. Plan for the future

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The chances are that most Harvard students are already attempting to juggle more than a few long term commitments. Whether it’s CBE or Hum 10, most quotas are already filled, so the best thing you can do to lose your partner is enthusiastically talk about the future. I would personally pull out the G-Cal and start trying to block out all their weekends for the next month — I guarantee you will never hear from them again.

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3. Respond quickly

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Nothing is more repulsive than someone showing avid interest in you, so try your hardest to demonstrate that you actually enjoy talking to them — they'll turn and run. Also like #2, being too available is always a deterrent; who wants someone they’d actually be able to see? Respond quickly and enthusiastically, you’ll never hear from them again!

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4. Be a Harvard student (and, if you’re straight, a woman)

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This one might work for everyone, but it works best for straight women looking to lose a guy. Harvard men hold their pride close to their hearts, which is why they will see any threat to that as an immediate turn off. That’s why the best thing for you to do is subtly flex things that no one, let alone a man at Harvard, wants to see — like a better pset grade than him. This may work with papers too, but something about a woman in STEM is terrifying to the average man at Harvard.

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5. Want romance

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Unfortunately, this campus is not known for its plethora of romantic opportunities – the standard seems to be dhall or library dates. Fortunately for you, this makes it a great idea to vocalize your expectations for lots of romance and intimacy from a Harvard student. A mention of a moonlit walk along the Charles or dinner at Toscano’s will be enough to send any romantic interest running! Ask for maximum effort dates — preferably ones that involve swiping a credit card and not an ID.

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Closely adhering to these 5 points should guarantee that you will be single (and, honestly, happy!), probably for a long time. Of course, this list is meant for a stereotypical Harvard partner, so you run the risk of not deterring someone who doesn’t exactly fit the grossly generalized archetype this is based off of. That being said, hopefully it gives you some inspiration for your next victim/talking stage.

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{shortcode-585d96f43de3d22401d75c5486b57e3a2ea368d3}Regardless of how you (or your professors) feel about it, President Donald J. Trump will be back for a second term in 2025. This got us thinking… if we’re headed towards a 2025 that looks more like 2017 part two, what else should we bring back from that era? We took a look at Flyby’s very own coverage from that hallowed time to determine how we might make Harvard return to 2017.

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Rihanna on Campus

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Apparently Rihanna was in Sanders in 2017, where she not only gave a speech but kissed Dean Khurana on the cheek? Maybe we can get him one more happy moment before he leaves Harvard forever.

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The Curious George Store

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In perhaps one of the most tragic real estate losses of Harvard Square, the iconic store closed its doors in the summer of 2019. As the days get shorter, having this store readily accessible could have been our cure for seasonal depression. Alas…

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“Another Day of Dunster”

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Still one of the most iconic Housing Day videos of all time, “Another Day of Dunster” was released just a few months after Trump was first inaugurated. Maybe this year we should just get Dunster to do a round two.

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A White Christmas

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It was technically not recorded as a white Christmas, but 2.9 inches of snow allegedly fell on Christmas Day in 2017. With unprecedented warm weather in the middle of November, dreams for a white Christmas seem far off, but one can hope for a Christmas miracle.

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Cafe Algiers

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This North African café and restaurant was a mainstay for 45 years, until it closed in 2017. Can we bring it back? We need some good coffee from somewhere that isn’t owned by a bank, the University, or people who don’t let you take your laptop out.

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Shopping Week

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We wonder if they’re still putting this in campus promotional materials? R.I.P. shopping week, gone but never forgotten. Honestly, we’d settle for course registration happening at a time when professors actually have syllabi ready.

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Joe Biden at Class Day

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He’s a bit of a bigger ticket now than he was then, but grandmas across the country would rejoice at the chance to see him in person at their favorite grandchild’s Class Day. Maybe he could “break the internet” with Dean Khurana again.

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As we look ahead to the (quickly approaching) new year, and the next four years, there’s a feeling of déjà vu and a reminiscing of years past (maybe it’s because we’re seniors). Here’s to reliving only the best parts of the past and hoping for a better future (a.k.a. us recovering from our midterm grade).

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{shortcode-747a59fae50c0ed2c234c59d99a20ab3ed22804d}If you are as chronically online as we are, you will probably agree that fall is the best season for entertainment; from “Survivor” to “The Golden Bachelorette,” there is never a drought of shows premiering right in time for cozy sweater weather TV marathons. Recently, the two of us have been sucked into a TikTok black hole of “Dancing with the Stars” videos from the current season’s star-studded cast of actors, Olympians, and con artist Anna Delvey. As a subpar ballroom dancer (Ava) and a former Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade child dancer (Gabi), we decided to throw our hats into the ring and try to replicate some of the most iconic DWTS moves. Key word being try. Enjoy!

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The Spin and Dip:

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Starting off strong with a throwback from Season 32, we attempted to recreate DWTS Pro Rylee Arnold’s Cha-Cha dance with her partner, Harry Jowsey. Although their moves are nothing too crazy (i.e. a simple side step, twirl, and dip), Arnold and Jowsey’s dance went viral on TikTok because of their palpable on-screen chemistry. Thousands of users chimed in to recreate their iconic moves and make ship edits of them dancing, a movement which propelled the pair to week nine of the twelve-week-long competition (despite Jowsey’s frat boy-esque lack of rhythm).

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So, when thinking about how best to approach replicating their dance, it was clear to us that we had to focus more on embodying Arnold and Jowsey’s iconic chemistry than on perfectly executing the steps. To that end, we had to take our roommate connection to the next level and add more passion, more energy, and more footwork. This meant more smiling, faster twirls, and a more dramatic leg to add extra pizazz, goals which we effortlessly accomplished in less than three tries (source: just trust us bro).

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The Creepy Kangaroo Hold:

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With our first dance beautifully executed, we moved onto our second with newfound confidence. That was until we realized that we had chosen DWTS Pro Daniella Karagach’s Emmy-nominated dance with her basketball-star partner Iman Shumpert and started to feel a bit of imposter syndrome. It also didn’t help to know that not only was their dance nominated for an Emmy, but Karagach and Shumpert later went on to win Season 30 of DWTS and take home the coveted mirrorball trophy. So, yeah. It was safe to say that we had big shoes to fill…Shumpert’s size 14 shoes.

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As we watched their reimagined contemporary take on the Jordan Peele-directed film Us and shook off our nerves, we began practicing their creepy lift that resembled that of a kangaroo mother carrying her baby in its pouch. After stretching our arms and squatting for a few seconds to activate our glutes and quads, I got ready to flip Gabi onto my quads. Unfortunately, our height difference worked against us. Since Gabi’s legs were too long to be as swiftly flipped onto my legs as Karagach’s were onto Shumpert’s, we decided to abandon the flip and shift all our focus to the hold. After one more attempt, we finally mastered our pose – legs interlocked, standing tall like a proud kangaroo and her joey. The real challenge? Resisting the urge to break into laughter. One wrong giggle and we would collapse. Luckily, we held the pose long enough for our suitemate to snap a photo before collapsing onto the couch behind us.

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The Itsy Bitsy Spider:

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At this point, we were seasoned pros (cast us for the 34th season @dancingwiththestars). In search of an even bigger and bolder move, we looked to none other than robbed Mirror Ball partners, Milo Manheim and Witney Carson. Featured in one of their many dances that received a perfect score, the move that I believe won Carrie Ann, Len, and Bruno’s favor the most was Carson’s extremely smooth spin then leap onto Manheim’s back. After some kind of simultaneous cartwheel and pirouette, Manheim flipped into a barrel roll, after which Carson performed a split in midair and landed on his back, one leg on his shoulder and one leg on his waist.

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Almost immediately, we faced a small barrier. Given our slight height difference (Ava is 5’9” and Gabi is 5’4”), we were having trouble figuring out if it was physically possible for this jump to happen. After spending painfully long trying to solve this dilemma that not even Math 55 students would be able to crack, we employed the couch behind us and maximized the set pieces our stage had to offer. Ava grabbed one leg and secured the other and in the middle of Gabi’s hysterical laughter, Gabi spread her arms, achieved the perfect ballerina’s toe point, and posed for the pic. Safe to say that we nailed it, and our audience thought we ate it up as well (peep Son Heung-Min and the 1D boys in the background). In comparing our recreation to the reference photo above, one thing comes to mind: corporate needs you to find the difference between this picture and this picture. As Pam from The Office worded so gracefully, they’re the same picture!

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The Lift:

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We had no choice but to conclude the evening with a show-stopping grand finale: the TikTok leg lift. If not evident enough, much of our time spent in the suite is spent rotting and doom-scrolling (with a ~healthy~ side of big-backing). Amidst the Brooke Nader and Gleb Savchenko drama and Ilona Maher praise, Carson’s effortlessly executed and choreographed leg lift is definitely the talk of this season. The move is simple — she positions one of her feet at the correct angle on top of Danny Amendola’s, creating enough tension for Amendola to pull her up by her other foot while she arches her back and maintains impeccable core strength. After watching countless videos of failed attempts, we were confident that everyone else was simply incapable of this easy feat and decided to try ourselves, thus leading to the inception of this entire article.

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With our backup dancers (suitemates) in place and a couple of verbal affirmations, we had liftoff… or close enough. Turns out this move was just as difficult as it seems, if not even more so. We scoured online for tutorials and slowed TikTok’s down to 0.5 speed but still could not figure out the mechanisms behind it. Attempt after attempt, Gabi tried to activate her core and engage her back, and Ava anchored herself to the ground and readjusted her grip on Gabi’s achilles. We were determined to produce some iteration that resembled the original. Our ex-ballerina suitemate subbed in, as did our walk-on athlete of the suite, yet we still had no luck. We even called in the reserves, deploying the suite’s resident boyfriend, who faced even less success.

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Unfortunately, the one time that we seemed to have done it was off the record. For now, the GIF below must suffice. I can’t say for sure that we would have received all 10s on this performance but we gave it our all and, for that, we deserve 10s in spirit. Legend has it that to this day, Ava is still sore.

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In a shocking turn of events, we have since retired from our prodigious dancing career. Perhaps we should leave the dancing to AADT, EXP, and UNIQUE. But, if the “Dancing with The Stars” Tour ever comes calling, don’t be too surprised if you see our names on the cast list.

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