But then she finds out it's not her fault. That the diva, in fact, did not err.

If you think you saw Svetlana mad during the team competition, nothing could have prepared anyone for the fury that came when she discovered that the vault had been mismanaged. Spouting and screaming, twitching and reddening, she took everyone to task for a conspiracy that she believed was intended solely to derail her gold medal hopes. When reporters tried to get her to sum up her feelings, she had two words for them: "Piss off."

But divas must get their due and Khorkina stomped all over the competition during the uneven bars event final. Afterwards, she puffed, "I give this medal to the people of Russia. I will never forgive what they have done to me here, but this is for the people who need this, of people who need to be uplifted." I'm thinking, "Dude, Svetlana. Come on now. An uneven bars gold medal is nice and pretty, but I don't think it's going to erase a decade of oppression."

But do you want to be the one to tell her that?

Want a "What Would Harry Potter Do?" T-Shirt? E-mail schainan@fas

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