While I had him on the phone, I asked Josh about his idea for the coup. "Well, it goes like this. I write to Cohen and ask him about producing a joint issue between the Lampoon and the Chaparral. He agrees and we do all the production out here. The issue is a horrible failure, and we at the Chaparral make off with $300,000 of Lampoon money, all because of Cohen's blunder. He will have lost three times as much as you and you'll be sure to be president."

"Sounds great," I said to Josh. "But what do we do if he doesn't agree?"

"Shoot him," said Josh.

"Sounds even better," I said and sprung into action. "At last I could make this place an all male club," I thought.

I invited John Kenneth Galbraith over to my room for a conversation that has nothing to do with this column, but it will allow me to drop his name and suggest that even in the lowly office of Ibis, I command enough respect to have world-famous ecnomists sprinting to my house in their underwear.

He did however give me a bit of advice, which I have retained to this day.

"Bill," he said, pausing several times for effect, "don't eat yellow snow."

That was enough for me.

TRicky IkE

Ike Turner: He is Bad

Ike Turner kicks wives.

Ike Turner didn't send in the $25 he pledged Jerry Lewis last Labor Day.

Ike Turner kept the money he collected for UNICEF last Halloween.

Ike Turner takes the Lord's name in vain.

Ike Turner only owns one pair of underwear.