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'Only in America...'

TAURUS AND TEA LEAVES

Radcliffe announces two new names to replace the monikers of North and South Houses. The former, rechristened in honor of a former University president, is named Ebenezer Hoar House; the latter, in honor of pathbreaking architect Waiter Gropius, is named Bau-House. "These are very delightful names," says Horner.

F-entryway in Dunster House suddenly collapses, killing 18 residents and injuring a dozen more. Experts blame the accident on the recent renovations and on the University's construction company, which had put all the House's grand pianos and furniture in Dunster F-21 at once. "It's a classic question of ends and means," says President Bok of the decision to risk the accident with the renovations. "I wouldn't be too pessimistic that we did the right thing."

November

The Government and History Departments grant joint tenure to Genghis Khan, waiving Harvard's usual retirement age of 70. "We were weak in Medieval History," explains History Chairman Wallace T. MacCaffrey.

The federal government announces the locations of its Peacekeeper Missiles, and there's one close to home: on the site of the old Burr Hall. Asked to comment, President Reagan says something about "the Kremlin on the Charles."

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Campaign head Reardon announces the beginning of the fund drive's Tundra Phase.

Boston Mayor White rolls to an unprecented fifth term, as the Tremont Avenue cemetery turns out in full to vote for him.

December

Dean of the Faculty Henry Rosovsky finds "merit" in charges that new Professor Khan sexually harassed a female freshman, but he refuses to take any concrete steps. "You don't seriously expect me to send a letter to his former employer, do you?" asks the dean.

The Celtics jump to an early-season division lead, as they trounce the Philadelphia 76ers, 120-98, in Philadelphia. John "The Mean Dean Machine" Fox leads the way, throwing in 27 points, snaring L1 rebounds, and shutting off Sixers center Moses Malone. "That is one tough guy," says an awestruck Malone.

The Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority announces that subway construction in Harvard Square "is really almost complete this time, seriously, fellas."

Early Action results: Harvard admits 451 students to the Class of 1988, including three felons sentenced here by a New Mexico judge.

The Ali bandwagon picks up steam, as the New York Senator runs away with the Puerto Rico and Arkansas caucuses and shows a devastating 22-point lead in national surveys over Glenn, the only remaining serious Democratic candidate. If the November election were held today, Ali would dethrone Reagan by some 10 percent, according to national polls. "I'll say one thing with certainty/Eighty four is the Year of Me," the Senator predicts.

With an uphill reelection fight looming against Ali, Reagan challenges the Senator to a winner-take-all boxing match in 1984, declaring. "I can beat him at his own game." Saying that he will outlast Ali, the President predicts a 15-round decision in his favor. "He talks and brags with no remorse/But only I can stay the course." Reagan explains.

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