To go to jail!

White riot wanna riot white riot--riot of me own

These lyrics from the album recently released by the Clash unequivocably advocate acts of sedition and treason. The group attempt to evade responsibility for its actions by stating "warning--do not read these words while listening to this record," but we know what they want. Such malefactors can and should be prevented from spreading their devil's gospel of riot and mayhem among our children.

The very name of the Clash signifies violence. Each of their songs contains a subtly disguised message hopelessly inappropriate for impressionable teens. These British hooligans tell listeners things like "Hate an War--the only things there are today," "Career opportunities are the ones that never knock," "If Adolf Hitler flew in today, they'd send a limousine anyway," and other statements of nihilism and frustration that can only fan the flames of discontent. Their music is loud, crude, fast, and shunned by listeners with taste.

We believe the continued free performance of the group the Clash in the United States of America poses a serious danger to the nation's security, and recommend that appropriate counter-measures be taken.

Memo #3. New Wave Music Encourages Sexual Misconduct Among the Very Young

Baby, ooh baby, I love to call you baby

Baby, my baby, I love to call you baby

When you squeeze me tight, you make the wrong things right

A recent album by Rachel Sweet contains a seductive imperative to its youthful purchasers in its title--Fool Around--that we must guard against. Miss Sweet is reportedly only 16 years of age, below the age of consent, and her singing of such licentious lyrics as the above constitutes a sick and depraved attack on decency.

It is not the only one on Sweet's album. The song "Wildwood Saloon" describes the travails of a woman of questionable reputation, and two other songs--"Pin a Medal on Mary" and "Stranger in the House," written by the infamous womanizer Mr. Elvis Costello--glorify adultery, which threatens to rend our societal fabric. The mock country-and-western music of these songs only makes them more deceptive, like a wolf in sheep's clothing.

What happened to nice boys like the Dave Clark Five? Sex means responsibility. Unless Miss Sweet and others like her cease advocating loose behavior, we will continue to witness an exponential increase in petting.

Memo #4. New Wave Music Is Physically Dangerous to Listeners' Health

Now I wanna sniff some glue

Now I wanna have something to do