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Our Christmas Reuelry

For Wallace MacCaffrey we offer a sieve

To sort out professors who want to take leaves.

For portly Ed Lashman, a very large switch

To turn on his MATEP that's only a ditch.

For Dame Helen Gardner an updated humanism;

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For Matina Horner, an open gymnasium.

From Time Inc.'s bright towers to the Harvard Corporation

We hope Andrew Heiskell won't feel dislocation.

For Robert S. Brustein, our audiences wait;

The actors are anxious; the critics debate.

Philip J. Atkinson's legendary deed

With basement explosives made deans pay him heed;

He got more attention than those wan protesters

Whose divestiture movement has not moved investors.

Our mailboxes have pined, our morale has sunk low

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