It’s Saturday night, and you’re a STEM major. You know what that means: it’s pset party time! You’re going to be alone in your room with one stuffed animal and your sad, dented can of Red Bull! But for some odd reason, some students might not find this to be thrilling enough. If you count yourself among them, you can invite more people to your little pset party. Simply open your window and scream to the pedestrians below. Here’s a list of ideas to get you started:
“Look at all those chickens!”
First, your victims will probably look around, thinking that there are actual chickens around. Then, they’ll start looking for turkeys, thinking you might have confused the two. Maybe they’ll think you’ve never seen a turkey or a chicken, or that you’re drunk, or that you have terrible eyesight. Finally, after seeing no turkeys or chickens, a look of shame will come over their faces as they realize that they are the chickens.
You can never go wrong with loudly belting “HEE HEE” into the Cambridge air. You will probably sound like you’re trying to imitate your squeaky door hinge, but it’s fine. Hee Hee, after all, is a state of mind.
Point at people’s shoes and yell “What are those?”
We all want to go back to 2014 Vine, and let’s face it: Boston/Cambridge shoe game is genuinely kind of depressing. Nine times out of 10, when you point at a stranger and yell “What are those?” you will be asking a perfectly valid question. Seriously, there are real people under thirty just casually walking around in loafers. What in the world is going on?
The entirety of Never Gonna Give You Up
Nothing like a good lung exercise as you single-handedly rickroll all of Harvard. Or maybe someone is having a horrible night and needs to hear that you’re never gonna give them up, never gonna let them down, and never gonna run around and desert them. With the start of the new semester, I think all of us need to hear that, actually.
“Does anyone know how to do [insert entire pset question]?”
Hey, I mean, if you’re really desperate, might as well give it a shot, you know? You’re literally at Harvard. If there’s any place in the world where you could scream a math problem into the air and actually get an answer screamed back to you, it’s here.
And there you have it, a far spicier Saturday night. Best of luck to you on that pset!