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{shortcode-6d1077dacce1cd6793f5ebc044f1bcd2aecbe9c2} As an aging senior who survived the senior thesis slump, I could think of no better parting gift to the lovely readers of this blog than sharing everything that I wish I knew before thesising.

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It isn’t a normal essay.

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I’ll be honest, for most of my papers I just buy a giant bag of Jolly Ranchers to give me the sugar rush I need to stay locked in. I hate to break it to you, but that won’t work for your thesis.

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I fear that if I consumed as many Jolly Ranchers as I did during a day while writing an essay over the many months I spent writing my thesis, my health would be in shambles. I traded Jolly Ranchers for cinnamon caffeine gum, a sweet coffee, and Trident orange gum. If gum or coffee isn’t your thing, maybe try your go-to HUDS fruit instead.

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Write first, format later.

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I spent more time thinking about the structure and presentation of my thesis than I did actually writing it.

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Between reading papers and collecting data, it’s quite easy to procrastinate on putting ink on the page. I know it’s daunting, but I beg you: Begin writing your thesis as early as possible. It will save you so much stress as graduation comes racing closer on your calendar and you suddenly also need to focus on mapping out your post-grad life.

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You don’t even need to write your sections in order! I was determined to write my thesis from introduction to discussion to ensure its cohesion, but it was really just my procrastination talking. You can write your methods section (or at least a draft of it) before you even start data collection, and the introduction can be written as soon as your proposal is approved. (If you’re optimistic, you could even write your introduction before your proposal is approved…) No excuses.

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Your future self — and your editors — will thank you for being so proactive!

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Secret emergency extensions exist.

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Some top secret information for you all: Some departments offer automatic emergency extensions if you’re in a true bind. I did not use mine, and I don’t recommend that you do either, but hopefully knowing this may be an option for you in the future is comforting. But do not — I repeat, do not — bank on this; your thesis isn’t the sort of project you can complete in one night.

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Buy a monitor.

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I spent way too much time split-screening my MacBook and it just didn’t cut it. My roommates and I got monitors specifically for thesis writing and data analysis; they are game changers.

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Find a commiseration buddy. Or several commiseration buddies.

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You need people who will suffer with you until your thesis deadline. People who will feel your pain as you scroll through Instagram stories of those free from the shackles of Lamont. Simply put, you need friends who will sit in the library or dhall with you in silence (and take laughing breaks).

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Find some discipline.

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Let’s be so real. The most important thing for any thesis writer is discipline, so try your best to learn some. Your other coursework won’t magically disappear come March, and you’ll still have midterms and other papers even as your thesis deadline approaches. Even if your professors are the nicest people in the world, there’s only so many extensions you can take.

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Good luck to all the future thesis writers, and may you have enough discipline senior spring to power through to the finish line. You got this!

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{shortcode-578aa9c22a68327362702e64232c9fbacc5d5c1a} Stephany Gutiérrez ’25 is a senior at the College concentrating in Government with a secondary in Ethnicity, Migration, Rights. She decided to make the most of her last few weeks on campus. (Sorry to remind all of our senior readers that the clock is ticking…) Of course, this meant going on a blind date facilitated by the wise and mysterious Flyby Matchmaker. She filled out the form with her friends — just as all of you, dear readers, should — and was lucky enough to be the first one to experience the matchmaker magic. Jorge L. Marquez ’25 is also a senior at the College and concentrates in Government with a secondary in Psychology.

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Apart from choosing to study incredibly cliché concentrations, Jorge and Stephany agreed on putting cereal in their bowls before milk and on donning their left sock before their right. They also both were confident that cilantro does not taste like soap and were permitted to watch Spongebob as children. So many potential sources of friction in a budding relationship were entirely nonexistent for these two; the stars were aligning, and the Flyby Matchmaker was ready to draw a constellation between them. When the Flyby Matchmaker learned that Jorge valued humor in a significant other, they knew that Stephany would be a perfect fit; she’s a Flyby writer, and you’d be hard-pressed to find someone funnier than that. (Totally not biased. Not at all.)

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Stephany arrived at Berryline early, dressed in a black top and blue jeans. At the time, she did not know that her date, also dressed in a black shirt with blue jeans — we told you that the stars aligned — would be her old acquaintance from freshman year. You see, unbeknownst to the Flyby Matchmaker, Jorge and Stephany have actually known each other for years and were even in the same Spanish class last semester. Meeting at Berryline was simply meant to be (or maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic).

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Stephany: I got there a couple minutes earlier, so I was sitting at one of the benches facing the windows, just waiting.

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Jorge: I showed up a bit late because it was raining.

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Stephany: I was kinda just scrolling on my phone at the same time. And he actually approached me; I hadn’t noticed he walked in, and I was like, “Oh.”

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Jorge: I already knew her, so I was like, “Oh, hey, what’s up?”

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They promptly recited their Harvard intros — come on, you’re seniors, and you already know each other, so why? — and chatted before hopping in line to order. Stephany kept her sweet treat simple with vanilla froyo with strawberries, while Jorge decided to spice it up. (I mean, I would also probably go crazy on toppings if I was given free froyo.) While they chipped away at their froyo, they discovered yet another commonality between them: being unemployed.

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Jorge: We were just talking about post-grad plans; we’re struggling with finding jobs.

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Stephany: Having the opportunity to talk to someone I hadn’t talked to in a while was nice. The weather was also not giving frozen yogurt — it was raining all day — but it was a nice sweet treat for Saturday.

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So, what’s next for this duo?

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Stephany: I think better friends for sure. I just learned a lot more details about him… that I didn’t know beforehand. In terms of future possibilities, I wouldn’t know how to answer that; I’m not sure.

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Jorge: I don’t think anything’s going to go on.

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It seems the future for Jorge and Stephany is friendship. Once they both secure jobs, another meeting might be in order for these two! Either way, both of them had a great time (and got free frozen yogurt, win-win).

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If you’re single, want free food, and are interested in meeting someone new on campus (or want to be paired with someone in the same boat as you), fill out this form to nominate yourself for the blind date of your sleep-deprived dreams. You won’t regret it!

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XOXO,

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The Flyby Matchmaker

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{shortcode-bd9630077872fd7d451693a612bf833d81d2a660} Welcome back the warm(er) weather, hordes of new characters to campus (I don’t know where they are coming from either), the looming threat of finals, and the countdown to summer. If you’ve ever found yourself walking around without your AirPods in, here are some of the things you’ll probably hear around campus. And, if you never go out without your “between classes” playlist blaring in your ears, here is your quick update on all of the Harvard student grumblings you may have missed.

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1. “Widener Library was actually a gift from Eleanor Elkins Widener in memory of her son Harry. Now, do you know the story of why she donated this in his honor?”

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Yes, actually. I've heard this story in bits and pieces every single time I’ve walked by Widener over the past three weeks. Between helping my friends practice their Crimson Key tours and bearing unsuspecting audience to many, many others, I am extremely well versed in Harry Elkins Widener’s untimely death.

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2. “My seasonal depression is finally over.”

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I don’t know about you, but I swore I didn’t have seasonal depression until I walked outside one day and the sun was out, the sky was blue, and the weather was warm, and I suddenly realized that the thought of walking to my 9 a.m. didn’t make me feel like crying.

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3. “Unwritten”

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The song at Yardfest, or my essay due tonight?

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4. “What are you doing this summer? I'm going to be doing finance in…”

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Let me take a wild guess… New York? This question and answer sequence has become my biggest fear. I know you’re only asking me so that you can “humbly” tell me that you are “Goldman-bound” this summer; however, the situation only gets worse because then I’m expected to tell you what I’m doing. So, either I make something up that we both know isn’t true, or I admit that I have no clue what I’m doing this summer and that I am in fact crashing out over it (please hire me).

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5. “Are you hosting any prefrosh for Visitas?”

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Do we have to call them prefrosh? I sorta hate that word. And, nope, but my friend is hosting six between her and her roommates, so that’s enough prefroshing for me.

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6. “I just have to get my thesis in, then I’m free!”

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This one is coming from the seniors who procrastinated writing 70 pages (or all) of their thesis until the final two months, realizing that they have come to and are now “crossing that bridge.” Little do they know even once their thesis is in, they’ll be having nightmares about it for the rest of their lives…

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7. “Have you booked rooms for graduation yet?”

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With more than five schools all graduating in the same stretch of days, getting hotel rooms in Boston, let alone in Cambridge, is going to be a nightmare. As far as I can tell, my uncle booked his hotel rooms for my cousin’s graduation almost a year in advance. My mom even tried to book rooms for my graduation during move-in this year (I’m a freshman…).

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8. “Did you do the reading?”

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Nope, and neither did you. The best part of this is that I know we were both thinking that we would get paired with someone who had done it. Unfortunately, I got paired with the living embodiment of “the consequences of my own actions,” and now we are going to have to ChatGPT our way through this.

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9. “Are you free for din tonight?” “No, sorry, I actually have a date.” “HUH?”

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Hello… since when??? Why does it feel like there are 25 new relationships post-spring break? Aren’t you the same person who just a few weeks ago was sending me insta reels about how single you were? It’s not that I’m not happy for you — I’m just surprised, and thinking that you might want to go curate your reel likes asap.

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10. “OMG, only five weeks until summer!”

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Yes, that’s all well and good, but all I can think when I hear that is “four weeks until finals,” and that makes me a little nauseous.

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Whether your mindset is four weeks till finals or five weeks till summer , both are rapidly approaching (queue “Where’d All The Time Go?” by Dr. Dog). Soon, this student chatter will be a distant memory. I hope this article motivates you to take out your AirPods (or just one of them) every once in a while and maybe even do something productive, like pick your courses or even do a reading… or keep procrastinating but outside, without a jacket!

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{shortcode-cd2f9d76c8b95ce0fbdcd0a8f8bcd22871453341}The White House is threatening to take away more than $8 billion in our federal funding if Harvard doesn’t get rid of DEI, ban masks, and make admissions identity-blind. But don’t worry, Alan! Flyby has spent all weekend crunching some numbers, and we figured out where Harvard can trim the fat in its budget to take these funding cuts in stride.

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$1B: No chairs at Convocation or Commencement.

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The sea of white plastic chairs in Tercentenary Theater exudes the opulence and grandeur that we’ve come to expect from Harvard. But when push comes to shove, we can sit on the ground. We’d save on both chair rentals and the employees who set them out. Easy $1B back into our pockets.

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$1B: No more Red Spice.

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We all love Red Spiced Chicken. But we all have to make sacrifices. If we get rid of our sky-high Red Spice budget, we can fund a little more cancer research. Might be a polarizing change with some backlash, but tough decisions don’t come without consequences.

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$1B: No more mousetraps.

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The rats are going to love this announcement. No matter how hard we try, we can’t seem to get rid of pests in the dorms. So, one must imagine Sisyphus giving up.

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$1B: Sell the Science Center Orb.

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Ok, real talk, does anyone know what’s up with that orb? What is it for? Is there any reason we can’t slap the Harvard label on it and sell it for a billion dollars?

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$1B: Stop Smith Center lo-fi.

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Nobody likes the music playing in Smith Commons — it makes it impossible to get work done, and everybody is wearing headphones anyway. We can stop paying for Spotify Premium, which, as we all know, is one billion dollars.

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$1B: Rent Tasty Basty and upcharge prefrosh during Visitas.

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There must be a reason upperclassmen try this every year. If our revenues haven’t jumped by a billion dollars by the end of Visitas, we could always pivot to charging people to see the inside of Berg. Going rate’s ten dollars a second.

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$1B: Sell House naming rights to the highest bidder.

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This won’t be controversial. At all.

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$1B: Add tariffs on senior sales.

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As we all know, tariffs are universally good. So let’s put some of Harvard’s free-market trade to good use and tax all the third-hand clothing and used plastic bins flowing from House to House.

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$1B: Get rid of hot breakfast.

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Let’s be real, they want to do this anyway.

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To be clear — yes, we have verified that each and every one of these small budget changes will save the university one billion dollars. And this way, we don’t have to get rid of DEI, which surely is integral to the Intellectual Vitality we hold so dear! Right? Right, Harvard?

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{shortcode-2329ccb1105e2e51041fbe4964c487ff9b766222} If you’re reading this, chances are you’re one of those people who celebrated at the very beginning of the semester about having fewer exams (or even none at all!) because that one class had a final paper instead. Cramming 13 weeks of information into a somewhat coherent paper shouldn’t be that bad! You tucked that part of the syllabus into the farthest corner of your mind, labeling it a problem for reading period. Realizing that paper still exists and needs to be written can feel like being dunked in cold water (and not in an Ashton Hall way), but never fear! Here at Flyby, we’ll be right by your side as you go through the five stages of realizing you have to start your final paper.

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Stage One: Denial

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We all start here. Oh, that paper? That’s due in May! Really, we get it. Sometimes, it feels like it’s still February. Besides, you have too much to do already between psets, acapella jams, formals, and still figuring out your summer plans. That paper is the least of your concerns. Out of sight, out of mind!

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Stage Two: Anger

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This stage comes after an unexpected glimpse at the date. While you may have acknowledged the paper’s existence at this point, you still have yet to internalize it. Your workload hasn’t gotten any lighter and, with the beginning of spring, who wants to spend the day indoors composing an outline when you could be throwing a frisbee in the Yard, living your best coming-of-age movie? Frankly, how dare your TF expect you to find enough time within your rainbow-colored Google Calendar to write an entire paper.

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Stage Three: Bargaining

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At this stage, you’ve just opened the Canvas assignment for the first time and might be saying, “I need to lock in” for the first and certainly not last time. You thought you were being a very responsible student when you decided to open the Canvas assignment for your paper, only to find out it is meant to be way longer than you initially thought, with source requirements that hadn’t even crossed your mind. For a lucky few, this stage may be the one where you pick your topic. Nonetheless, this is the stage where you try to inspire yourself to make a schedule to write your paper. All is not lost yet! Right?

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Stage Four: Depression

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Stage Four is where you take that well-intentioned plan to write a little bit every day — and end up with an empty Google Doc each night. Unfortunately, making a schedule for your final paper can feel so productive that it justifies taking a break for every single day of that schedule, while assuring yourself that you have a plan and therefore nothing to worry about. The end of semester work pile-up won this battle.

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Stage Five: Acceptance

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This stage doesn’t necessarily begin when you start your paper and can sometimes occur against your will. Whether it happens on the second floor of Lamont at 3 a.m. or while you’re moving out at the end of the semester, you will reach acceptance, and have something in at some point — regardless of quality (because it’s the effort that counts… right?). And, you know what, that’s an accomplishment on its own.

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Regardless of where you are in your journey of starting that final paper, stay strong and push on through to get that page count. Or, keep procrastinating by reading more Flyby articles. Whichever you choose, good luck!

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{shortcode-58a189b5630a961b12973dd540f2e482027c6a7a} Welcome to March Madness, where twelve Harvard Houses enter the bracket… and only one emerges as the supreme champion. Post-Housing Day, it’s perfect timing for everyone to see where their House lands on the bracket. The committee has spoken. The seeds are locked in. Let the games begin.

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In the first round, Lowell fumbled the bag and experienced a classic first-round exit — decent effort but outplayed by Dunster from the start. Adams, coming off a bye, faced Dunster next and was a little rusty, but they scraped by and won their game. Barely.

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Leverett didn’t make it past round one because they showed up with a clear vision but no execution — kind of like how you start off the semester feeling like an academic weapon because you did your readings but tune out after week two. You have to respect the grind. Meanwhile, Pfoho continues to never let us know their next move: could be out the first round or make it to the Final Four. No one knows. Not even them.

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Cabot entered as this year’s hopeful Cinderella story and sure played with heart, but it was no match for Mather’s towering energy and chaotic approach — a deadly combo. The House plays like they just woke up from a Smith Center power nap and chose violence. Eliot, flashy as ever with a bye, brought all offense, no defense. And they were likely sponsored.

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Quincy, meanwhile, officially began their underdog arc. They’re cooking, and not just their hot breakfast. We thought Currier would be the underestimated sleeper team, but in the Quincy vs. Currier matchup, one House showed up with a game plan, and the other showed up late. Guess which is which. (Hint: One is in the Quad, and one is not.) Then came Winthrop, walking in like they had already won — loud, proud, and mentioning their river location any chance they got. But maybe that was the cause of their downfall, allowing Quincy to advance and beat Mather.

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Just like how they are repeat champion of the Straus Cup, Kirkland defeats Pfoho and Quincy (definitely no personal bias as a Kirkland resident myself) and takes the trophy home! We sure love tradition at this school, after all. Another year, another title. The legend of Kirkland lives on.

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{shortcode-0c34e30638eac0e84d68ec8a332784cf2b9ed0e6} Four years in Boston have provided me with plenty of time to decide what rain gear I prefer, and I’ve been able to observe others, too. (That’s right, I’m watching you.) Judging what all of you choose to wear in the rain has added a bit of joy to those gloomy days, and — through a little bit of psychoanalysis — insight on what you’re like. So here’s my take on your rainwear, organized by how unhinged it makes you seem.

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Level 0: Rain jacket AND an umbrella.

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You are very hinged. You’re always overprepared. You’re always early. You’re Type A: meticulous and thorough in all you do. I would trust you with my life. More than that, I’d want to “accidentally” sit next to you in class and become pset buddies.

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Level 1: Umbrella only

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You’re pretty hinged. You care about keeping dry, but you won’t let the New England skies rain on your fashion parade. You’re willing to fight the nasty winds and fix your inside-out umbrella to have your cake (read: style) and eat it too (read: be relatively dry).

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Level 2: Rain jacket only

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You’re neutral. You don’t like to be tied down. I respect that. You’re willing to get a little wet so that your walk to class isn’t controlled by the wind destroying your umbrella, but you aren’t keen on sitting in a puddle for your entire class (and subsequently catching pneumonia). Smart — this campus has enough plagues going around.

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Level 3: Your normal outfit

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You’re unhinged. There are two possibilities here. Number one: You forgot to check the weather — meaning you can be a bit forgetful and scatterbrained. Your head’s in the clouds, as they say. But maybe not, because if that was true, you’d have looked around up there and seen that it was going to rain. Number two: you intentionally didn’t check the weather, or you saw it and didn’t care. In this case, you may be unhinged, but you’re confidently unhinged. You know exactly what you’re getting into, and you’re willing to brave the elements to run free.

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Level 4: Flared jeans

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You’re wildly unhinged. Do you not see that the bottom of your jeans are soaked with mud? Are you not suspicious of the mini-ponds of water in the Yard (or the mini-lake that forms in front of Northwest)? Please tell me it was an accident. And please tell me you’re not going to wear these jeans back tomorrow.

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Level 5: White sneakers

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I have no words — your unhingedness is off the charts. You need to be stopped. As a matter of fact, straight to jail.

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I hope you learned something profound about yourself. Even if you found out that you’re unhinged, I hope you embrace the title with pride. On rainy days, you’re a silver lining for us people-watchers as we try not to get blown away by the Cambridge winds.

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{shortcode-d247dff2ddc2f022d944f3ac9445f89168cbdb3d} The Harvard Undergraduate Association is responsible for funding student organizations (remind me why HUCG needs Harvard’s money?), advocating for student needs, and Venmoing you $12 for the money you spent on laundry this semester. This spring, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed IOP kids are gearing up for their first taste of public office as they campaign for roles on the HUA ranging from Academic Team Officer to Social Life Team Officer. While we appreciate the hard work that goes into each of these positions, there are a few more that could add substantial value to the important (read: important for the resumé) work of the HUA.

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Crimson Print Officer

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The fact that we’re still talking about Crimson Print is absurd. There’s got to be a better way. At the bare minimum, I should not have to resort to Googling “Flyby’s Crimson Print Cheat Sheet” every time I need to print anything. A Crimson Print Officer on the HUA might finally put us out of the misery we experience every time we’re required to print out anything for class.

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Free Stuff Officer

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This one feels obvious. Harvard has a ton of free stuff to give out, but the free stuff only makes its way into the hands of those in the know (or those who actually read their House’s open list). A Free Stuff Officer would streamline the process of procuring free stuff at Harvard, allowing students to make the most out of their tuition ($56,550 for a free T-shirt) and making the process of getting free stuff more equitable and accessible. See, Dean Khurana?! It’s all about equity and accessibility!

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Housing Day Officer

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Honestly, Housing Day felt less hype than normal this year. A tragedy, to be sure. The HUA’s Housing Day Officer would ensure that a) the weather is perfect on Housing Day, b) only the annoying kids get Houses they’re upset about, and c) every Housing Day video is as good as Currier’s (or Pfoho’s — iykyk). Easy, no?

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Snow Day Officer

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Harvard’s lack of snow days is upsetting. Sure, it doesn’t snow that much and, fine, we do all live a walkable distance from our classes; regardless, it still feels wrong that snow days had to come to an end in high school. I am especially empathetic to my peers who grew up without snow days at all and will never have the opportunity to experience one. What even was the point of going to school in Boston after all? Virtual school and work = a vibe killer to the snow day community. There’s just something about waking up in a winter wonderland and knowing you have the day off from school that truly hits different. The Snow Day Officer would ensure that Harvard students receive at least one snow day each academic year, complete with a college-wide snowball fight in the Yard and hot chocolate in Annenberg.

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HUDS Officer

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Let’s be real: HUDS needs help. Between the grape pizza fiasco of 2024 and the lack of hot breakfast in 11 out of 12 of the houses, there is real work to be done to get Harvard’s food up to the caliber of its students. We know that there used to be hot breakfast in every dhall before it was eliminated due to “financial burden” in 2009, and we also know that the graduate schools’ dining quality far exceeds that of the college. The HUA’s HUDS Officer would rectify the current undergraduate dining situation and restore peace to the minds of students who question why they picked Harvard over Duke or Yale every time they eat lunch.

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Quad Transportation Officer

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First order of business: Passio GO! More like Passio NO! (laugh, please). But, seriously, the shuttle situation is dire, and only seems to have gotten worse this past semester. As made evident by the canon event of missing shuttles and having to do the qualk at 1 a.m. after a night out in the Square, the transportation from the river to the Quad could use some help. Subsidized Ubers? Scooters for rent? All of the above are ideas to ponder for the Quad Transportation Officer.

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HarvardKey Officer

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I can’t even count the number of times I’ve had to go incognito or use a new search engine due to the “Bad Request” screen popping up when I try to log onto my.harvard. I’m sorry my request is bad; I’m just trying to pick my Fall 2025 classes (already)! Also, as many times as I select “Yes, this is my device,” Duo never seems to remember. Yes, I am indeed logging into Okta w/ Duo MFA. No, there is not somebody who has my login information and wishes to hack into my account to pay my tuition. Hit me up if this is something you’re interested in doing, though.

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To the future HUA co-presidents: yes, we (maybe) believe you when you say you care about the student body and not just your LinkedIn. Prove it to us by expanding the Executive Team to include these worthwhile positions. Your student body — and the rats in Kirkland who also eat our food — will thank you.

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('

{shortcode-2ec453aac68849c762ef25aee65e96eb30a59c9a} While we were all ecstatic at the announcement of plans to construct a monorail running from the Quad Lawn to Barry’s Corner (across from Trader Joe’s, for those of you not in the know), apparently there’s been a snag in these plans: the turkeys.

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For anyone who is not aware, Harvard recently issued plans to install a monorail system across campus, allowing us all to live our Disney World dreams while attending classes to get jobs that could support a Disney vacation. The purpose of this monorail? Connecting the two farthest ends of campus to each other (kiss the Quad-SEC Express goodbye). The proposed duration of this ride? Five minutes. FIVE minutes. That would even put the River Houses to shame. And the best part? It was promised to be reliable (yes, we’re looking at you Passio GO!).

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But, unfortunately, Harvard has abandoned this project. To connect each end of Harvard’s campus, the monorail system would have to pass through campus. Obviously. You know what else passes through campus? Turkeys, lots and lots of turkeys. The turkeys have already been stirring the pot here on campus, before spoiling our monorail dreams. We are still recovering from the fact that Natasha Bedingfield canceled on Yardfest after learning that the Yard is inhabited by turkeys. Who can blame her, though, after hearing that a group of students held captive in Vanserg by a rafter of turkeys — no joke, the word for a collective group of turkeys is rafter — after section is still healing. Word on the street is that transfer applications have been submitted, and no, we are not talking interhouse.

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The problem that Harvard sees with this monorail is that it would have to cross through the turkey’s habitat — Harvard Yard. Discussions between Harvard faculty reveal fears of turkeys jumping between trees, pouncing to hit the windows and outer shell of the vehicle. Confused? Let me put it simply — the turkeys want to attack.

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So, for now, unfortunately we will still have to rely on our unreliable friend the shuttle system to get between classes. On the bright side, though, we do appreciate that the University has announced its plans to try to keep the turkeys under control starting April 1st, 2025.

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Wait.

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{shortcode-7e5f29c017e7348faca661cde4e10775435f8102} President Alan Garber announced Monday afternoon that the university would finally implement a more sustainable transportation system to connect all of its campuses.

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Garber’s announcement has been long anticipated by many faculty members throughout the university who have, since 2019, advocated for the construction of a monorail to connect Harvard’s Cambridge campus to Allston and Longwood. This new project will also significantly impact the lives of many students, especially those who live in the Radcliffe Quadrangle; the commute from the Quad to the Science and Engineering Complex in Allston is currently several hours long for any students unlucky enough to miss the shuttle.

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An existing shuttle system — including service on the university’s main campus, between Lamont Library and Longwood via the M2 shuttle, and a private jet — does provide students and faculty alike with free transportation between the university’s buildings, it is widely regarded as deficient. Students in the Quad have been frustrated by the inconsistency of campus shuttles and unreliability of Passio GO!, the mobile app that purports to provide real-time updates on shuttle locations and timings. Premedical students and researchers working at Longwood have also bemoaned the hourlong commute each way via the M2 shuttle, which also shows up inconsistently.

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In response to these issues, many students have requested that the University finance Charlie Cards, Lyft vouchers, and Ferraris to ease transportation difficulties. Harvard has not responded to these requests except to note that students have always been welcome to rent the shuttles for personal use, for the incredibly low price of $2,000 in Crimson Cash.

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Regardless, with the development of the new monorail system, students will be able to get to their destination much faster and on a more reliable schedule. Construction is set to begin this summer, with the first phase of the project between Cambridge and Allston set to be completed in 2028. The second phase of the project will link Longwood and Harvard’s main campus.

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\r\nTo finance this project, the Undergraduate House Renewal Program will be paused indefinitely. Students have provided overwhelmingly positive feedback about this development despite the project’s implications for House renovations, even though most will graduate before the monorail is actually built.

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{shortcode-8eab13969b28a4cb36d28c74f3b7c2d5f441fc84} This past Monday, March 24th, Harvard College Events Board announced that Natasha Bedingfield, a British pop singer most recognized for hits such as “Unwritten” and “Pocketful of Sunshine,” would headline the annual Yardfest festival.

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Student opinions on the announcement were mixed. One anonymous student on social media platform Sidechat wrote, “natasha bedingfield headlining yardfest means recession pop is so back.” Others reacted less positively, with another anonymous student on Sidechat writing, “natasha bedingfield for yardfest…we need affirmative action back STAT.”

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However, Bedingfield released a statement on the social media platform X, formerly known as Twitter, late Monday evening announcing that she has decided to cancel her appearance at Yardfest, citing “the bloody massive amounts of turkeys strutting around Harvard’s campus, mate.” When The Crimson reached out for more information from Bedingfield’s team, all they responded with was a link to a 30-minute long compilation of people being chased by turkeys, narrated by David Attenborough.

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Matt Ressingfield ’28 was one of many students disappointed by Bedingfield’s announcement. “Natasha Bedingfield saved my life. Literally. When I was a young child, my house caught on fire while I was sleeping. I woke up sweating and terrified, trapped under what felt like mountains of wood and debris. I screamed and screamed, begging, pleading, praying for someone to come rescue me. Just when I was about to give up hope, I see Natasha walking out of the fire towards me. She took my hand and pulled me out from under the debris and whispered in my ear, ‘Feel the rain on your skin.’ My fourth-degree burns healed completely by the next day,” he said.

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Knotta T. Urki ’25 was also disappointed by the sudden announcement, specifically noting her reason for cancelling. “It just feels really disrespectful. Like the poultry profiling has gotten really out of hand lately, and it’s sad that no one seems to really be talking about it,” she commented.

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The Harvard College Events Board has yet to make a statement regarding the situation and who, if anybody, will be replacing Bedingfield’s position as headliner of Yardfest. An anonymous tip was sent to The Crimson early Tuesday morning, stating, “There have been internal discussions of Natasha Bedingfield being replaced by an hour-long spoken word performance by Dean Khurana.” After learning of this, one member of The Crimson who does not wish to be named said, “Nah, fuck that shit.”

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{shortcode-c47bed9aeadeff6f15a45381fd7b93aefc8390a5} Following a section in Vanserg Hall, students were unable to leave the building due to a crowd of turkeys stationed outside the building. Students attempted several escape attempts but were unsuccessful due to the turkeys’ unusual aggressiveness.

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The rafter of turkeys — yes, a rafter — strategically placed themselves at all access points across Vanserg, seemingly holding the students there intentionally. Students attempted to flee the building after 75 straight minutes of being lost in Chinese 123XB but were met with the unexpected avian sight.

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Students reported the turkeys’ aggressive behavior to HUPD, who were unable to intervene after the turkeys flew at their patrol vehicles — miraculously, turkeys can fly, much to the surprise of law enforcement.

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After the failed HUPD intervention, the rafter began loudly and repeatedly gobbling, much to the horror of the trapped student — who had now missed the narrow dining hall lunch hours. After several minutes of the mass gobbling, students deduced that the birds were attempting to communicate with them.

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Volunteered to brave the rafter by his fellow classmates, Barry A. Rearmer ’28 approached the turkey brigade and began to speak with them; he had a 108-day Duolingo streak learning Turkeytalk, a language focusing on body movements and sounds used by turkeys. Rearmer started learning Turkeytalk after noticing the abundance of turkeys on campus after arriving last fall.

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Rearmer flailed his arms and jumped rapidly, whilst gobbling and imitating the birds’ sounds, asking the rafter why they were holding them captive. The students’ captors — via gobble and the occasional tail-feather raise — expressed that they were sick of students frequenting the walkway outside of Vanserg, one of their favorite hangout spots.

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After extensive negotiations, Rearmer came to an agreement with the turkeys: He would lead the rest of the students in an interpretive dance of apology to the birds. All of the students who spoke to The Crimson after the incident refused to explain the dance but said it was “turkey-like and humiliating.”

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After spending more than five hours stuck in Vanserg — far more time than anyone should ever spend there —students were set free by their feathered captors.

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In recognition of Rearmer’s bravery and ingenuity as an interpreter and hostage negotiator, the Dean of Students Office has awarded him with the First-Year Interspecies Leader Award, a novel addition to the existing DSO Leadership Awards.

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{shortcode-2b920971e509b5efd14c0279cf098382f4a1df49} With a stellar suite of Housing Day videos this year, we know that you’re all confused as to which were the best. (You definitely haven’t entirely forgotten about them and moved on with your life, like a normal person.) We had a spare two hours on our hands — not really, but we had to do something to procrastinate on studying for our midterms — so we were nice enough to rank them for you. Now you can stop trying to have opinions and just let us tell you how to feel.

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S Tier

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Pfoho

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Expecting a pflop? None were found here — this year, Pfoho was the one to beat. The story of putting Pfoho back on the map led to seamless transitions between songs and a storyline that we eagerly followed. We enjoyed the self-awareness regarding Passio GO!’s pfunctionality (or lack thereof) and the cute little graphics, but we still have one lingering question: What was your dress code in the bell tower suite scene? Besides being on the longer side, we thought this was all around pfhenomenal. Bravo, polar bears.

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A Tier

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Currier

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Currier, you were so, so close to a threepeat (or should we say treepeat?), but to be honest the bar wasn’t raised this year. Your song choices were wonderful, though a little hard for our writers to pick up on (apparently sticky is about sticks, not sticky floors); you showcased your community (shoutout Lauren Scruggs ’25); and you even showed off vocals that had us all stunned. Your close-up shots, though? Those stunned us in a not-so-great way. But all in all, this type of feelgood performance was expected of you. So good job, Currier, you land in A tier.

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Kirkland

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Even though the subtitles started late into the video — and y’all were quiet during those news reporter scenes — Kirk outdid themselves with not only a cohesive theme throughout the entire video but also one that speaks true to the vibe of the house. This video had us wanting to be River West Princesses with rodent subjects (which is a sentence that we never thought we would say — ever). You might want to invest in a new boar mascot for next Housing Day, though, as we all agreed that this one looks especially punchable.

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Quincy

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It’s no shock that Quincy lands itself in A tier with their lyrics; truly no House brought disses like the Q (sorry Leverett). But even with all of the hate they were dishing, Quincy found a way to balance out this energy by showcasing their cute, wholesome community that happens to include people from almost all walks of Harvard’s campus. The one downside to this video? The different video styles — flashing between camcorder, (vertical) iPhone, and the highest quality camera we have ever seen only slightly stressed us out. Stay pengu(w)inning.

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B Tier

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Eliot

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Eliot, oh Eliot. While we found ourselves questioning why the tunnels were the part of your beautiful House that you chose to showcase the most, the lyrics and energy of this video spoke true to the Domus. Maybe the tunnels had such a starring role because your House is literally falling apart — shoutout to that one drone shot at the end that showed that your bell tower needs some work — but we’re honestly not sure. But either way, we were obsessed with your faculty dean’s sequined jacket, orchestral introduction, and House participation. Fête for Fête? We can go B for B (tier).

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Lowell

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This year, Lowell provided us with a solid example of what a Housing Day video should be: the perfect combination of personal House hype, balanced with smooth disses of other Houses. And they managed that while releasing first of all of the Houses? Chef’s kiss. Between the immaculate transitions, cinematography, and disses (Adams robbers? Quincy drive thru? Yes.), we could tell that this was a video that took time and dedication. Our only request? More Lowellians! Solid work here.

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Cabot

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Alas we fall upon the Quadfather — who was stroking a fish in the beginning of this video? Even though this video’s music was a tad quiet for our liking, we appreciated how committed to the bit you were. The House’s musicians brought a wonderful energy, yet we found the piano sequence to be a bit random. Were we in heaven? Is Cabot… heaven? To be honest, after this video it might be.

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C Tier

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Dunster

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Dunster completely met our expectations with a musical theater-esque video this year. Your different Chappells had us in awe (especially Chappell number two), yet your costumes did not compare to Adams. We liked how many parts of the House community you were able to showcase, but your lyrics were kind of weak. Good job for venturing out of your comfort zone with the rap segment, though! (Whether or not you should’ve is another matter.) DUNSTAAAAAAA will be running through our heads rent free for the next 24 hours.

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Adams

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There was a lot going on in this video — nuts, an entire rainbow of colors, and so many costumes (or the lack thereof… Was this shirtless scene in the gym necessary? We see you with your 10-pound weights, sirs.) We enjoyed how Adams-centric this video was, yet we were waiting for more disses towards other Houses — Eliot can’t bear the burden of all of the Housing Day drama. Also we found this video to be especially long. We love all of the song choices you made, but didn’t need them to all be full-length. We’ll meet you at the Oaktel… we mean the middle of the C tier.

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Mather

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This is a tower!!! Thank you for reminding us! We were very impressed with the musical choices of this video, yet we found that the background music sometimes overpowered the actual vocals. Beyond this slower start, we liked that this was an accurate representation of what living in Mather would look like. But is this something that we would want? Not totally convinced by the end of this video. (Personally, we do not think we would rock those red sweatbands like you all did.) Not bad, but not great.

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D Tier

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Leverett

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Hey, at least this is an improvement from last year! (We realize that it’s a lower tier than you had last year, but the competition this year was steep.) Leverett was actually able to gather a crowd (of four people, rather than three) to showcase in their video! Bravo! Even though the video started off strong with its choice in songs, the lyrics AND video shaking was a bit much for us, especially in the beginning. Let’s tone down the editing next time. Also, what do you mean by “It’s probably on fire”? If anyone could explain this to us, we would greatly appreciate it. Otherwise this video was quite cute, but not comparable to the greater batch we were presented with. Continue to fluff them up in D tier, Lev, whatever that might mean to you.

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F Tier

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Winthrop

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Instead of a pflop, this year we got a thrflop. Your faculty deans even said that you needed this video to put you back on the map, and THIS is what you present us with? We were shocked. Why was none of the filming done in the House… Do you live in the Business School parking lot? Why were you on a Zamboni? Are there more than three people who live in your House? Why is Cynthia Erivo here? We thought that you would redeem yourselves with part two, but to be honest, we should have just saved our time and moved on. 14 minutes of our lives we will never get back. Womp womp.

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We realize that you probably don’t agree with our ranking. And that is okay. Everyone’s allowed to be wrong sometimes. You’re just lucky you have us around to correct you.

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{shortcode-ea5580d2edd0f6739f91cc66a0ebdbec21bc0813} ’Tis the season for the sprint to finals! As you read this, adequately rested (with perhaps a bit of raging, peeling sunburn from your Puerto Rico spring break), it’s hard to fathom having to be fully back at school for the last five weeks. But fear not, there are things to look forward to! Natasha Bedingfield, yes, but also the post-Easter CVS clearance aisle.

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No one has experienced pure joy until they have gone to the post-Easter CVS clearance aisle. Pastels, chocolate, and seasonal bunny-shaped goods galore! In preparing to raid the candy inventory once April 21 hits, here’s what sweet treats I think the Easter Bunny would identify with each Harvard House.

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Adams: Cadbury Crème Egg

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Who can resist a decadent chocolate moment? Something so decadent and delectable — that is, for all of one bite before it becomes too over-the-top. Perhaps this parallels the vibe of Adams House: a hit of an indulgent sugar high with a marble staircase on the side. It either pleases your sweet tooth or gives you a sickening stomachache from the five different Adams-affiliated buildings you stop by during River Run.

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Cabot: Jelly Beans (BeanBoozled Edition)

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Let’s be real, Cabot’s got range. Just like jelly beans. From huge singles to a carpeted dining hall, it is just like reaching into the bag and getting anything from butter popcorn flavor to a taste of dirty dishwasher. When you’re in the Quad, you never know what you’re about to taste. Scooter or shuttle ride? The thrill of not knowing never ends.

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Currier: Peeps

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The least divisive Easter candy… or perhaps the most? Everyone loves to love them, except those who don’t. Just like Currier, they are iconic for a reason. They are vibrantly yellow and bright, sprinkled with sugar and cheer, but also texturally confusing. I just know Bill Gates loves Peeps. Peep cameo in next year’s Housing Day video?

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Dunster: Pastel M&Ms

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Dunster just is demure like that. Poised, elegant, beautiful, overlooking our lovely Weeks Bridge and Charles River. But as much as we enjoy pastel M&Ms, they have their flaws, too, like when the color starts to bleed in your sweaty palms, or when you somehow find melted chocolate seeping out of the package into your jacket pocket. Probably happened on the walk back to Dunster!

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Eliot: Lindt Gold Bunny

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Shiny. Expensive. Pretty on the outside. Yet once you scratch the surface, the allure is gone. Eliot boasts wealth and cool — it’s all wrapped up in gold foil. But when you actually peel it back and take a bite, you realize that it’s not all that good. It is your standard waxy milk chocolate, that is all.

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Kirkland: Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg

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Classic, reliable, and yet somehow overlooked? Kirkland may get a certain rep, but the community sure is strong. They embrace anything that boosts spirit and morale, and something tells me they would even welcome the peanut allergy kids. I do think Reese’s Eggs and Kirkland could both use better PR teams, though.

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Leverett: Lindt Chocolate Carrots

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Carrots → Bunnies → Leverett. This one was too on the nose to not include. No further explanation needed.

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Lowell: Ferrero Rocher Egg

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A rare, delectable, and highly coveted treasure in the sea of Harvard Houses. One that I find to be kind of boring, frankly, but the chimes of the bell tower and small fragments of hazelnut seem to attract the same kind of attention and the same crowds. No one would be discontent to see this (or a letter placing them in Lowell House) in their Easter Baskets.

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Mather: Sour Patch Bunnies

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Sour then sweet! Said no one but Mather residents themselves. While I feel almost as if Mather doesn’t deserve this candy, as it is one of my personal favorites, I think it is extremely fitting as the Easter Sour Patch is one that grows on you. With its take on flavors like grape and watermelon, it is super odd at first bite, but soon you won’t be able to stop dreaming of the fruity flavors paired with just the right tinge of citric acid, kind of like the guaranteed singles and concrete exterior.

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Pfoho: Whoppers Robin Eggs

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Vibes. It’s hard to explain but just the overall vibe. I feel like the Pfoho Igloo is slightly reminiscent of these eggs’ hard, crunchy malt exterior followed by the extra sweet milk chocolate. And what is malt, anyway? What is Pfoho, anyway??

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Quincy: Pastel Hershey’s Kisses

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Tried and true. Never gets old. Consistent all. Year. Round. That is Quincy in a nutshell for you, just like a classic Hershey’s Kiss. Sure it doesn’t have the pop and Yellow Dye 5 of classic Easter Peeps, but where it lacks in scary coloring, it makes up for by being a House that anyone can fall back on at any time. You know what to expect, and you always love it after. Of course, I’m not biased at all as a Quincy resident myself.

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Winthrop: Russell Stover Marshmallow Eggs

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In an ideal world, these sound like they’d be amazing, right? Almost as if someone combined the Hershey’s Kisses and Peeps mentioned earlier. But it’s weird. Everything about these chocolate-covered marshmallow eggs seems to be great except for the absolutely unforgivable choice to use crunchy chocolate to host this symbiotic relationship between marshmallows and chocolate. Sound familiar? Everyone loves Winthrop and loves to love on Winthrop EXCEPT for the lingering, musty smell of the dhall.

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Whether you are a seasonal staple or a zesty Peep, everyone has a special place in their heart for their sweet treat. Happy early Easter, and best of luck in your upcoming discount candy search journey!

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{shortcode-05450b7fefd238e86cae153f13ee3fa24f454f67} Spring break has come and gone, and we’re right back into the thick of midterm season. Only three days in, and there’s already a month’s worth of work to be done. Keep your chin up, though. The Charles River is no longer frozen, there’s an extra hour of sunlight, and the weather is finally beginning to get warmer. Before you know it, summer will be here in full force, and you’ll be worrying about your internship instead! There’s light at the end of the tunnel, and your favorite blog (Flyby) is here to help you get there in one piece. We do, however, have our own mid-semester slump to survive, so we’re not gonna hold your hand every step of the way; we have some Ghosts of Flyby Past (read: past articles) to do that for us.

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First things first, it’s time for a hard reset. As much as you hate studying for your fifth midterm of the semester, now is not the time for being a whiny baby; it’s time to lock in and pull yourself together. We know that trekking down to the laundry room feels like a waste of time when you wear the same pants every day anyway, but even a few minutes spent cleaning will dramatically improve your quality of life… and probably alleviate the tension that’s bubbling up between you and your equally stressed/busy/messy roommates. The last half of the semester is not a time to wallow — make your academic comeback instead.

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If even our sage words of wisdom haven’t stopped your spiral, maybe Mother Nature can help out. With warmer temperatures, kayaking season is finally on the horizon. Staring at the water might help you remember that things are not that deep in the grand scheme of things. Technically if you capsize, you can cross another one of the Harvard traditions off your list (iykyk). If solid ground is more to your tastes, picnic along the Charles! We’ve already done the hard part — actually planning the picnic of your fantasies — so all you need to do is find a free hour (okay, maybe this is the hard part) to enjoy the views while surrounded by great company and food. Seriously, touch some grass. ASAP. There are so, so many outdoor activities (not all equal) to enjoy now that temperatures are tolerable enjoyable. (And don’t try to use your seasonal allergies as an excuse. We’ve got that covered with this article that will help you explore the great outdoors without sniffling every five seconds.)

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Once you feel five percent closer to being a functioning human being, feel free to reward yourself with a sweet treat. There’s one for every mood, you know. You need some incentive to power through these last few weeks, and sometimes even the idea of passing your classes isn’t enough to sprint through the last half of your pset. If you’re looking for permission to treat yourself, you have it. Finish a sentence in your essay? Arrive at lecture on time? Manage to assemble a HUDS meal that doesn’t make your stomach recoil? Time for a treat! If you’re trying to cut back on spending, you could always stop by the many free (at least for you) museums on campus or chip away at your Board Plus balance.

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If all else fails, just avoid all your responsibilities. Give yourself a second spreak. (But shorter, because someone has to take your midterms.) The commuter rail is perfect for a quick escape from campus. Pop the Harvard bubble and pretend that you didn’t just spend ten hours on a pset to only get six of the ten questions right. Pretend that you have no obligations and forget about them!

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Hopefully this suggested reading list will give you the push you need to break out of the mid-semester slump… and hopefully not feel even more swamped by your readings (oops). Summer is distant, but it’s so close you can almost taste it!

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{shortcode-45a5fa7f4b1b1f6541be4b0331d7e134566814ff} In honor of the 2025 Housing Day season coming to an end, what better way is there to keep the Housing Day spirit alive than a House ranking sure to upset every undergraduate on campus? Here are the foods I think each upperclassman House would be and how many bites I would take of each. Yes, I thrive off of controversy. Cheers!

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Adams

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Adams, here’s a serving of brutal honesty. You are overrated, and although this food item seems niche, it encapsulates your House perfectly: a cheese fondue fountain. Sure, it looks presentable and grand, but when you start thinking about it, everyone touching the cheese and double-dipping quickly gets gross. Also, the cheese is such a hit-or-miss. Four bites.

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Cabot

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Cabot, I would have given you a vastly different meal just a couple of hours ago, but I just finished a deep dive into your Housing Day videos. I’m slightly obsessed with you now. However, you would be buttered noodles because, at the end of the day, you’re still Cabot. Six bites.

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Currier

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Normally, when people think of Currier, they think of another irrelevant Quad House, but you are slightly more than that; you have Rhodes Scholars. When I think of you, I think of successful nerds. You would be a mushroom omelet with quinoa. Omelet because you probably eat breakfast, quinoa because you’re better than me, and mushroom because… obviously. Five bites.

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Dunster

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It might be your House sigil, your fancy dining hall seats, or the unhinged emails about your Grille, but when I think of you, Dunster, I always relate you to the wild. If you were a food item, you would be something that requires hunting: venison (usually deer meat, but sometimes moose meat…). Cheers to cannibalism! Six bites.

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Eliot

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My freshman fall semester, I snuck into an IM volleyball game (representing Mather) and had the misfortune of playing against you, Eliot. Not only were you bad, but you ended up crying to the IM board (which is apparently a real thing?), demanding a victory because you thought losing to a freshman was unfair. Your food item would be rotten fish — no explanation needed. Zero bites for you sore losers.

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Kirkland

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Kirkland, when I think of you, I think of absolute limbo: neither good nor bad in any aspect. Because of this, you would be a food item that is always an option, but one I would only eat under dire circumstances like starvation or the utter lack of anything better: the ever-so-slightly pink HUDS grilled chicken. Three bites.

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Leverett

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An upperclassman once told me I should hope to get Leverett because there’s a good community there. What they failed to mention is that this alleged “community” speaks true to the House’s bunny mascot — meek, with a bland choice in snacks (as proven by your Brain Break). As a result, I’ve known what your food item would be long before I started writing this article: saltines. Two bites (three crumbs).

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Lowell

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Listen Lowell, I’m not here to blow smoke up your rear like every other House ranking ever. However, you are a staple of Harvard, so your meal should reflect as much. You would be the default above-average wedding meal with the facade of being “gourmet”: lemon garlic chicken. Still good, though. Nine bites.

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Mather

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I think of you in the same way that I do my situationship from the fall semester. Everyone gets mad when I bring you up, and I kind of forgot who you were after winter break. You were fun while you lasted though, just like your food item: a Taco Bell Cheesy Gordita Crunch. Four bites and a lot of regret in the morning.

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Pforzheimer

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Listen. Pfoho, I love you more than my blocking group wishes I did, but I must admit that you would not taste good. You would be a food that makes people go, “What’s that?” just like they do after you tell them you’re in Pfoho: a cold wedge salad with expired Caesar dressing. Two bites.

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Quincy

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A moment of appreciation for the famous Quincy Grille that has gotten me through many nights out. Containing a good community that is only relevant because of a grill, you, Quincy, would taste like a classic backyard outing: a nicely seared cheeseburger with crispy curly fries. Seven bites of the burger, two of the fries.

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Winthrop

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A House large in size but proportionally irrelevant compared to some of the smaller ones, Winthrop would be a dish for which bigger isn’t necessarily better: a bone-in roast beef far too big to finish. You’re pretty tasty, but you should probably start prioritizing quality over quantity. Six bites.

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\r\nThese all come from places of love, and I believe every House has good and bad parts (see, I’m PR trained, I swear). I had to keep it fair and uniformly insulting to everybody to make myself equally unwelcome in every House’s dining hall (which might cause me some problems because I got sorted into the one House with a notoriously stinky dining hall). See you next semester, Winthrop!

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