Spring Break is over and there are still seven weeks until summer. Between now and then, there will be midterms, finals, papers, and projects, all while the weather grows warmer. There may not be much to look forward to between now and then, but there is one day that will give many some comic relief—April Fools’ Day.
This year, April Fools’ falls next Wednesday, which means there is about one week to prepare for this special day. If you don’t have a legendary prank in mind, don’t stress! We here at FM came up with some of the best pranks of the year.
THE FIRST MEETING
Let’s face it, folks, with over 400 student organizations at Harvard, no one is going to notice if a new one pops up in the middle of the year. Start by advertising your club’s first meeting. Print some flyers and post them all across campus. Make sure “Free Food” is bolded, front and center. That way it won’t even matter what your organiza- tion is all about. When students show up to your meeting, we’ll let you decide what they’re more disappointed about—the fact that your club doesn’t exist or that there’s no free food.
A REVERSAL OF FORTUNES
Regular action admissions decisions come out at the end of March. Fortunately, April Fools’ Day also comes at the end of March, so the timing couldn’t be more appropriate. Grab some of your CS friends, have them find the admitted students email list, and you are in busi- ness. Send them whatever you want: a reversal of their admission deci- sion, a notification that they were actually placed on the waitlist, or, in good Harvard fashion, a notification that their first college paper is due in a week. Whatever you do, make it convincing. Apparently these new admits are pretty smart.
AND NOW PRESENTING...
Famous people visit Harvard all the time. We’ve already seen Keegan-Michael Key, Amy Poehler, and President Jimmy Carter, among others. No one will blink if another famous name is added to
that list. Just don’t pick anyone too famous. Otherwise people might actually look into it. Get one of the many organizations you’re a part of in on the prank, and advertise that your favorite celebrity is indeed coming to campus. By the time people realize that your celebrity of choice is still in Hollywood, Washington D.C., or their country of origin, they’ll already be lined up out the Science Center door.
PAVLOV’S ROOMMATE
Is your roommate suggestible? Are you in need of a live-in ser- vant? Either way, it doesn’t matter because classically conditioning your roommate is never not a good idea. If they’re messy, try reward- ing your roommate with a snack every time they tidy up their half of the room. Get creative because you can really take this prank in any direction. Who knows, maybe you can petition to get credit for SLS 20 with this home grown psych study.
H-HARMONY
Play matchmaker to all your single friends by helping them get dates this semester! So what if your help is unsolicited? So what if they’ve repeatedly asked you to stop involving yourself in their love lives? Sign those thirsty fools up for Tinder and swipe right for days. Go that extra mile and post personal ads around campus with their phone number on it because you can’t afford to miss out on any demographics. When your friends finally catch on and angrily con- front you, act indignant. You’re just being a good friend!
