Victoria Lin
Choice Quote: “Refrigerator? I hardly know her!”
By day, you nurse puppies back to health at the local animal shelter. By night, you’re a crime-solving, butt-kicking detective with her own reality show on the E! network. One time Michael Cera called you pretty at a party, so you punched him squarely in the face.
Wayne Gretzky
Choice Quote: “Wait, where am I?”
You didn’t know Wayne Gretzky writes for the Arts board? That’s okay, because neither does he. But he’ll learn. You’re Wayne if you’re really good at hockey, everyone on the Arts board loves you, you have very poor security around your home, and you currently don’t know where you are.
Ha Le
Choice Quote: “Honey got me swishing like a dreadlock. She don’t wrestle, but I got her in a headlock.”
First of all, Ha is Pitbull. No, not the dog. Like, the rapper. You’re Ha/Pitbull if you’re from Miami, are best friends with Beyoncé, and have parents who forced you to put your burgeoning rap career on hold to pursue a biomedical engineering degree at Harvard. It’s okay. You’ll make it through.