Hey there, lovebirds! It’s Valentine’s Day, and you know what that means: Dozens of you will be having happy, romantic evenings around the Square tonight, while the rest of us will be stuck with whatever questionable casserole HUDS feels like serving. But it doesn’t have to be that way! FM is here to find you a restaurant that’s singles friendly.

First Printer

This classy spot is definitely a no-go except for the bar area. You’ll see plenty of young couples who, waiting for their entrées to be cooked up, leaning across elegant wooden tables to stare into each other’s vacant faces, all the while sipping on their $10 cocktails. The place won’t take a reservation for one tonight, so don’t bother showing up without a fun little romance. The bar section gets pleasantly noisy, drowning out what I’m sure are completely inane conversations taking place throughout the restaurant’s candlelit corners. The drinks are also comfortingly strong, so drink away if the sight of their clasped hands starts making you so nauseous you stop wanting the bison burger you ordered.

L.A. Burdick Chocolates

Ah, Burdick’s. A longtime staple for students’ first dates, the chocolatier is sure to be buzzing with lovey-dovey couples all day. The cold doesn’t help either, since their hot chocolate is some of the best in the Square. Bring an iPod—the wait will be a long one, and unless you have someone to talk to in line, you’re sure to be driven mad by the idea that even the unshaved, food-stained-shirt-wearing, smelly guy behind you could have a date scheduled for tonight at the nearest Chick-fil-A. If there’s only one of something left, be sure to buy it for yourself. We wouldn’t want one of those cute couples to break up arguing over who gets the last one, now, would we?

Basta Pasta

A winner! Nobody at Harvard ever leaves the Square, so it’ll be mostly date-free this Valentine’s Day. Finally, you can enjoy your hearty meal without having to endure another clichéd marriage proposal and distracting applause interrupting your meal. Seriously, do those people have any idea how obnoxious it is to have their special moment absorb the attention of everyone in the restaurant, including my waiter’s? He can’t even see me trying to order another bottle of wine for myself.