Loker Commons: Deserted hinterlands masquerading as student center in the bowels of Memorial Hall.

Lowell House: 1. House most often shown on admissions tours. 2. Tea anyone?

MAC: The Malkin Athletic Center, second home for campus jocks.

Madonna: At Harvard, the Queen of Pop. At all other colleges, a musical pariah.

Mather House: 1. The riot-proof monstrosity designed by a prison architect. 2. The box Dunster came in.

Noch's: Pinnociho's, a great place for a midnight slice of pizza and cramped dining. Rhymes with "hoax."

Office hours: The chance to interact with famous professors that you will never attend, but should.

Orientation week: The seven days when you'll meet hundreds of your classmates and promptly forget their names once classes begin.

Pforzheimer House: Best dining hall on campus; a nice place to visit but you wouldn't want to walk there.

Pre-Med: 1. Subspecies of Harvard student known for aggressive competitive behavior. 2. Frequenter of Cabot Library who goes into fits when organic chemistry text and four-color clicker pen misplaced.

Proctor: Friendly graduate student who dispenses milk, cookies and advice on a weekly basis.

PSLM: 1. The Progressive Student Labor Movement. They bring us Matt Damon, Class of 1992. They bring us Ben Affleck. And in their spare time, they fight for social justice.

Punch: Process by which sophomore and junior males are inducted into final clubs.

Quad: 1. The Radcliffe Quadrangle. 2. A Cambridge suburb that is home of three of the upperclass houses: Cabot, Currier and Pforzheimer.

Quadded: 1. What happend to unluck first-years in march. 2. Exiled.