Grapes: A small, round fruit. Debate over whether to serve grapes in the dining halls was the biggest political controversy at Harvard since the '60s. Enjoy your brunch delicacy, capitalist pig.

The Grille: The most popular bar among first-years in Cambridge.

Grille Order: 1. What to ask for when Spicy Broccoli-Tofu Peanut Stir Fry simply won't do. 2. A "last resort" dinner.

Guts: 1. Course in which no one does any work and everyone gets at least a B+. 2. The most popular courses at Harvard.

Harvard Shuttle Bus: Your lifeline to academic and student life if you live in the Quad (see Quad).

Head of the Charles: 1. Weekend in October devoted to a big crew race, when college and prep school students descend on Cambridge to get drunk. Your roommates will invite total strangers to drink beer, heave and pass out in your room. 2. A good weekend to skip town.

Hilles Library: One of the few advantages of living in the Quad; the best place to study on Saturdays.

House Tutors: 1. "Proctors" for upperclass students. 2. Parasites or upperclass resources.

Independent: 1. Weekly news magazine used as a doormat every Thursday. 2. What to read if you get excited about old news. 3. What you will be in college.

Interhouse: What you will do to avoid eating in Annenberg. 2. Best way to get to know upperclass students or at least observe their childish eating habits.

Kirkland House: 1. A hop and a skip from the Kennedy School, the ideal breeding ground for gov jocks.

Kong: The Hong Kong restaurant on Mass. Ave., last stop on the weekend party train.

Lamont Library: 1. Great place to meet your friends for a trip to Baskin-Robbins. 2. The most social place to study.

Lampoon: 1. A semi-secret Sorrento Square social organization that used to occasionally publish a so-called humor magazine. 2. Gang of emaciated white males who amuse themselves writing penis jokes and starting fires inside their castle.

Leverett House: 1. The towers just as scary for their appearance as their elevators.