But then Gore does the unthinkable. He selects a running mate who-gasp-hates Hollywood. Within days, Joe Lieberman starts wailing about "cultural pollution," so Tinseltown momentarily loses its bearings again. After all, they can't bash Bush if Gore's bashing them. What to do?
Hollywood isn't particularly creative these days, so the thought process went something like this: "Well if we were about to bash Liz Hurley and then we started to bash Bush but now Gore's bashing us, well, then, we should...bash Liz Hurley!" Hurley violated the union strike four months ago and thought she had cleanly gotten away with it, but now all of a sudden she's paying the price. Twenty-four entertainment wire articles on Liz in the last four days (compared to two on Campaign 2000)! At the recent premiere for Bedazzled, she was pelted with flying debris and called a "scab" by angry picketers. To add insult to injury, the tabloids keep talking about her 60 year-old lover and comparing her to Anna Nicole Smith. And last week, the New York Post even gossiped about how she refused to get on a private jet because it was too small for her twelve pieces of Louis Vuitton luggage. Sure, Liz Hurley is a real snot, but does she deserve this much attention? Of course not. But hey, Hollywood desperately needed somebody to egg instead of Dubya. And let's face it, even four months too late, Liz Hurley is a lot easier on the eyes.
SOMAN'S SHORTS
www.somanintheknow.com. It's the Signet's worst nightmare...Now that her three sons have all left home for good, my poor mom is suffering empty nest syndrome. First she becomes an Oprah book club devotee and now she's turning to religion. I'm afraid she's going to join a cult. E-mail my mom pick me-ups at mrs_chainani@hotmail.com...A while ago I told you that I thought the new Backstreet Boys single was awful. I changed my mind. Now I love it!...The Office for the Arts asked me to serve on a panel on "Creating Hype and Buzz" this Friday. I'm sitting alongside two expert adult professionals-people who actually have jobs. Why do I feel like a fraud? Come make fun of me from 3:30 to 5p.m. at OCS on Friday...When a girl pointed out a boy that she thought was crush-worthy, I responded, "Boys who wear baseball caps every day have absolutely nothing to say." Do you agree?...Liv Tyler got fat and now nobody will hire her...Get ready for an S&M winter. Two Marquis de Sade movies, a couple of television specials and a reprinting of Justine will make handcuffs the must-have accessory of the chilly season...Golden Invites to the In the (K)now It Boy and It Girl Mixer go out this week. Will you be invited?...I realized that-gasp-I don't have a "drink." When I go out, I always flounder for a minute before ordering something I don't want (like a Heinken. Whose first drink is a Heineken?). So I need your help. I want something sweet but not annoyingly sugary (no amaretto sours or midori anythings), something sour but not too tonic-ky, and something that just looks cool. An astute friend suggested, "Absolut Mandarin and Sprite. That's perfect for you." I tried it the other night. It was terrible. Any other suggestions?
Questions, Comments, Drink Suggestions? E-mail schainan@fas www.somanintheknow.com