But some disagree that Harvard even needs a backlash against the snobs. "I actually think Harvard is too liberal for the snobby girls to rule. Go to Penn and you'll see what it could have been like," said one girl. Maybe she's right-take a look at this e-mail from an officer of a certain "hip" organization to the rest of the staff. The writer clearly believes that her peons are nowhere near as snooty as they need to be. (It was forwarded to me by a disgruntled staff member with the attached note, "If this is what pretentiousness is coming to, let me take no part.")

ok, writers. listen close. i realized the key ingredient missing in all of your work - pretentiousness. i'm serious. our product is not fucking offensive enough. it is not "in the know" and it should be. i want everything edgy and i want everything incredibly obnoxious. i want you offending people and making this organization cutting edge. even if you are not cool, pretend you are. our readers should think you are. i am not on crack. i've decided to get vicious. so impress me.

Backlash or no backlash, there will always be snotty girls who confuse pretentiousness for coolness, pretentiousness for obnoxiousness. But even though the girl is clearly on crack, we can forgive her, right? After all, she does plug my column.

POP CULTURE 101: THE GORE/HURLEY UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE

For Hollywood to be functional, it needs to have a power axis-at any given moment, there has to be an "it boy" or "it girl" to either praise or bash. It's crucial that Tinseltown have a "buzz" person of the month; everyone has to feel like they're responsible for creating and destroying stars. That way, no one can get too big an ego, no one can get too far ahead, no one can turn the power axis into a power black hole. There's only one exception to this general rule. When there's a presidential election, Hollywood unites against the Republican to ensure the Democratic candidate's victory. The Democrat becomes the "it boy," the Republican the whipping boy.

But somewhere along the line, things got screwed up this year. In May, Angelina Jolie was all over the place. Angelina talking about how earth-shattering her sex with Billy Bob Thornton was, Angelina yakking about how she loved self-mutilation, Angelina making out with her brother. But her reign as It Girl ended and Hollywood scurried to find a new subject for ink when she went to film Tomb Raider in London and disappeared from public view.

Elizabeth Hurley to the rescue! In late July, she crossed picket lines to film an Estee Lauder commercial and the striking Screen Actors Guild union prepared to launch full scale war against the diva. But just as they pulled back their bows and sharpened their arrows, the political arena called-George W. Bush started gaining in the polls and Al Gore '69 needed help building momentum before he announced his running mate. Richard Gere, Susan Sarandon, Barbra Streisand and other celebs all went on the record about Bush's incompetence and the stars suddenly started turning out for Gore just as they had for Clinton. Meanwhile Liz Hurley goes incognito...