Tis time once again for our holiday pal,
Gender neutral, nondenominational, et al.,
To dole out our gifts for the coming New Year
and to wish all of Harvard some winter good cheer.
To George we have given the big throne at Yale,
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To the nation, an overdue respite from Quayle,
To Jack Kemp, Nick Brady and C. Boyden Gray
A burned-out new home in South Central L.A.
To Clinton we offer a serene honeymoon
And a Jenny Craig diet to shed some pounds soon.
To Al '69, whose earth plans are surefire,
We give record book sales and a water purifier.
To Hillary, gumption to prove she's feminist,
And Tipper, perhaps, Larry Welk's last playlist.
To the economy we give a kick in the tush
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