(Which we're sure he'll turn down, cause he's just not that type.)
To Harvard"s Stealth Dean, Ms. Hernandez-Gravelle:
Some name recognition--charisma as well.
To "No Comment" Schlicter, a functional voice.
To Dean L. Fred Jewett, non-non-ordered choice.
To Joseph S. Nye, whose lectures are sterling,
We give longer pants and a date with Sy Sperling.
The same gifts for Marty, the god of Ec 10,
He'll also fit in with the Hair Club for Men.
To the Mealtime Messiah, our god of gastronomy
A job resurrecting our nation's economy.
(If someone can do it, Mike Berry's the dude.
He'd fine-tune the Fed like he fine-tuned our food.)
To the gays on this campus (though we hate to get sappy)
A plea to ignore those who say you're not happy.
Read more in Opinion
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