November 7: Spurred on by his running mates diplomatic success, Richard Nixon sweeps 47 states in a landslide over Democrat Jimmy Carter.
November 8: Jimmy Carter, citing constitutional crisis caused by Nixon's victory, imposes martial law and arrests his opponent, promising, "Now you really won't have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore. Besides--you keep asking for strong leadership."
November 9: Pope John Paul II announces doctrine of Presidential infallibility. The Electoral College convenes in the Sistine Chapel to ratify decision.
November 15: California, Massachusetts and Texas secede from Union. Presidents Brown, Kennedy and Connally vow to continue fight against Carter, form Triple Alliance.
November 21: Soviet leader Alexandr Solzhenitsyn praises "revival of moral fiber of the West." Begin, Thatcher, Gandhi, Marcos and Botha send messages of support to Carter.
December
December 1: Presidents Connally, Kennedy and Brown announce they are joining the India-China alliance to combat "Washington's creeping fascism." Iran, Canada, and Mobil-Venezuala also join.
December 8: Linda Ronstadt's kidnapping by American intelligence agents forces a crisis. Both sides put forces on world wide alert. Secretary Rizzo threatens to "turn Sacramento into a parking lot."
December 16: The Brown-Kennedy-Connally coalition demands return of Ronstadt and a guarantee of secure borders. American embassies seized in United Arab Emirates, Tanzania, Quebec, Mongolia, Jamiaca, Pitcairn Island and Houston. Rizzo says, "I'm not kidding."
December 23: Connecticut Yankee nuclear facility blows up during clean-up operations. Rizzo, seizing power from vacillating Carter White House claims the explosion is part of a Kennedy plot, orders full scale attack on Boston.
December 24: Kennedy retaliates by launching an MX missile attack from the Red Line. Washington Burns. Again.
December 30: Ayatollah Gomes declares Jihad against Carter/Rizzo forces. Pope John Paul II counters by ordering a world wide crusade.
December 31: Nuclear holocaust spreads. Life on earth reduced to french fries and cockroaches.