July 26: Brezhnev dies. Alexandr Solzhenitsyn is swept into power in huge street demonstrations by Eastern Orthodox Christian militants. Solzhenitsyn announces the formation of a Christian republic, imposes martial law.

August

August 11: At the Democratic National Convention in Madison Square Garden, President Carter wins renomination on the third ballot. He surprises observers by selecting Pope John Paul II as his running mate. Calling the Constitutional principle of separation of Church and state "outdated and unnecessary," Carter defends his move by saying, "At least now we'll really have God on our side."

August 15: Continuing its Four Modernizations campaign, China allows commercial advertising on national television. The First commercial ever broadcast is a MacDonald's ad for its new product, the Big Mao. China also announces that it is negotiating with the state of Texas for the sale of the Great Wall, to be installed on the Texas-Mexico border.

August 27: Dean Rosovsky releases his long awaited response to born-again Bok's call for a complete overhaul of the Core curriculum "to provide a Christian education at Harvard, like it was always meant to be." Before hundreds of screaming supporters at the Harvard-Radcliffe Hillel, Rosovsky calls for the formation of an autonomous Harvard Yeshiva.

August 30: The Republican Convention finally breaks its deadlock, and nominates Ronald Reagan. Reagan, in the excitement of the moment, suffers a fatal heart attack. Unwilling to deliberate further, and ignoring Constitutional provisions barring his election to a third term, the exhausted Convention selects Richard Nixon as its standard bearer. Not to be outdone by Carter, Nixon chooses the Dalai Lama as his running mate, saying that he hopes having an incarnate Buddha on the ticket will "allow the Republican Party to escape the wheel of death and rebirth."

September

September 16: Ayatollah Gomes denounces Harvard's Government department, calling it a CIA front. Student mobs invade Littauer Hall and take four professors and 39 students hostages. The militants demand the return of former Government faculty members Henry Kissinger and Daniel Patrick Moynihan to Harvard.

September 20: Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, discovering that the visas of the American hostages have run out, releases them all. "People lost interest in it all." he says.

October

October 4: With former Harvard President Nathan Pusey at his side, Secretary of Defense Rizzo orders a B-52 strike on Harvard Yard. "Now you can finally park you car in Harvard Yard," Rizzo says. Bok condemns "unwarranted interference with out internal affairs," demands U.N. sanctions against all of the United States, except New England.

October 12: Major oil companies announce third quarter profits rise an average of 310 per cent. Mobil buys Venezuela. Secretary of the Treasury Amin calls in oil company presidents, shoots and eats them.

alliance between India and China to stave off the Vietnamese threat. The Two nations launch a preemptive strike on Hanoi, form parking lot. Chinese Vice Premier Deng Xiaphong comments "they were obviously insane. We had to bomb them to save them."

October 30: Lawyer Mark Lane calls for Congressional investigation into the Warren report on the Connecticut Yankee disaster, claiming that he has incontrovertible photographic evidence that a second neutron was involved.

November