5:30-7:30 p.m. Minority Students Picinic, Currier House. Probably not as important as the meeting during the afternoon, but why not?

9 a.m. on. Party. Meet people. Learn to avoid assholes; and fear not, there will be plenty of them. Become alienated. For added thrills, stand outside your dorm and watch and parentvacuum in operation. Tid down all light objects.

Sunday, September 10

11:00 a.m. Serive for Freshman and Parents, Memorial Church. It's actually quite nice, if you want to go.

1:00 p.m. Required meeting of Freshman eligible for Sophomore Standing, Science Center B. Boy, will this make you fell superior.

But there's no reason to hurry through, unless you really know what you to do. At this meeting, you can bet they'll tell you that someone in the room has 9 AP credits. Don't believe it. Only Brainiac V took 9 AP courses in high school, and look what happened to him.

3:15- p.m. Opening Exercises, in the Yard. This is the only mandatory meeting the Class of '82 will have until commencement, which is a long way off. But don't worry, they don't take attendance, although roving bands of Doberman Pinschers patrol the dorms to ensure a good turnout. Actually, a friend of mine skipped this meeting and met the woman he will probably marry, but this is an extreme example.

At this meeting you, will be offically welcomed to Harvard-Radcliffe by President Bok and Radcliffe President Horner. Derek Bok is an interesting guy. He's paid to look good and talk smooth. And you might see him two or three times more, with luck, before you graduate. Dean Henry Rosovsky will give an address, which promises be a million laughs. If it rains, forget it, because the welcoming will be held in Sanders Theater, which can't hold all of you. Which means that they stick the latecomers into the Science Center, where you watch the whole thing on big TV screens. They did that to me, and the screens kept blipping off. I remeber thinking "for this I'm paying $6000?" Well, it's $7500 now, and you still get the same service for your money, but you should go if only to identify the deans and other honochos on sight. And when they tell you the same service for your money. but you should go if only to identify the deans and other honchos on sight. And when they tell you that they make one mistake in the admissions office every year, don't be foolish enough to think it's you. It's your roommate.

5:30-7:30 p.m. Freshman picnic, Radcliffe Quad. This is a real splendid opportunity to see where some freshmen used to live, but not any more. It's also a good time to meet people, because tons of them will be milling around, looking for others to meet. But avoid the food, which is a harbinger of a long year at the Union. Eat at Elsie's, the sandwich joint par excellence, on Mt. Buburn Street, instead.

9:00 p.m. Required meeting with proctors. You do have to go to this, because your proctor will give you your own personal Bursar's Card, which proves that you go to Harvard. It gets you into libraries and dinning halls, not to mention out of trouble with the police. A handy tool, and it'll cost you ten bucks if you lost it. Also at this meeting, you proctor will introduce you to everyone else in your dorm or entryway. And he'll give you the standard rap on drugs and sex. And there will be free beer. 10:00 p.m. Party.

Monday, September 11

8:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. Registration, Memorial Hall. No way around this bewildering baptism into Harvard life. You have to register, so get it over with. This process entails standing in long lines, filling out forms, filling out more forms, filling out a few more forms, and then running the gauntlet of representatives of undergraduate organizations who line the twisting path to the exit. Check them out and by all means take the free copy of The Crimson. It'll make good reading, and it'll make us fell better. You can to the whole thing in about 45 minutes, unless you get the infamous red dot on your registration packet, which means that something it amiss between you and the term bills office (the girm reapers who will clean you or your family out of $30,000 in the next four years). Then you've got to get that straightened out. Good luck.

At Registration, you will also get a course catalogue. Good luck.

5:15 p.m. Intramural meeting. For jockos who don't quite make the inter-collegiate ranks and those who just like to play, at Emerson 105. Worth attending, if you're into this kind of stuff.

8:00 p.m. Faculty Discussion: "Process and Perspective: A Way of Looking at the World," Clyde Ferguson, Professor of Law, at Science Center B. This one actually sounds interesting.