Harvard offers Muhammad Ali the Norton Lectureship in Poetry, but Ali turns it down. "It's an insult!" he says. "Next they're gonna gimme a Wepner Lectureship."

To further what it calls "the healthy trend of candid revelations from the First Family," the Harvard Political Review publishes Jack Ford's treatise, "On Liberty," a chronicle of his intimate relationship with the White House dog.

Onlookers in the Adams House dining room subdue Master Robert J. Kiely after he repeatedly stabs Rabbi Ben-Zion Gold in the chest with a fork. "Boy, is he touchy," Gold says. "All I wanted to know was where he got that flesh-colored yarmulka."

The Porcellian Club admits its first black member, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. '76-4. "I know, I know," says P.C. president David Gardener '77, "you're going to say he's not really black. But he did spend part of last year in Africa."

December

Continuing his crackdown on student-tutor cohabitation, William R. Hutchison, master of Winthrop House, orders Buildings and Ground to reverse the peepholes in all suite doors.

An HSA West Cost charter flight crashes and burns in the Rocky Mountains, killing all aboard. "We may have underestimated our fuel needs," admits HSA president Stephen Pollock '77. "But we feel this is the kind of mistake you can learn from."

Harvard Police, led by Commander Gorski, burn Claverly Hall to the ground in a pre-dawn raid. Later, addressing the University via closed-circuit TV from his Grays Hall bunker, Gorski say, "It was riddled with crime. We had to destroy it in order to save it."

In a Christmas message to the nation, President Ford says, "The eyes of the world are on Bethlehem today, which should make every steelworker proud."