Former President Richard M. Nixon, sentenced to 55 years in prison for conspiracy to commit burglary, income tax evasion, obstruction of justice, and contempt of Congress, tells an anxious nation how he plans to spend his time in jail. "I really don't know. Maybe I'll smoke a little dope, listen to some Allman Brothers, read Kahlil Gibran," the ex-president muses.
Dr. Dana L. Farnsworth, director of University Health Services, announces that in order to speed up service UHS will give band-aids and aspirin to all students who present five sworn affidavits testifying to their strength of character and steadfastness of purpose.
For Halloween, Derek Bok dresses up as Henry A. Kissinger '50, former professor of Government, and goes trick-or-treating to the home to John T. Dunlop, for dean of the Faculty. "Is this who I am?" Bok asks the bemused Dunlop.
NOVEMBER
In keeping with a Faculty Council recommendation, President Bok announces that Harvard Yard will be turned into an additional House and that the separate freshman year will be abolished. Bok appoints Guru Maharaj Ji to be House master. "We think he'll be a perfect master," Bok says.
Edward J. Samp, Cambridge election commissioner, announces that only those students may register to vote who own 1943 Studebakers with Massachusetts license plates. "They're great cars," Samp explains, "and I think Massachusetts plates would prove a kid really cares about this city."
Previously undefeated Harvard loses to Yale in a 3-0 upset after Harvard's team bus mistakenly leaves the football team at Dartmouth stadium: Yale scores its one field goal late in the third quarter.
Daniel Steiner '54, general counsel to the University, announces that to celebrate his first three years in office, he will state an opinion that "other English-speaking people can understand." "I think it's the least, and yes, I do, you know, let me add that after careful study, it could be, but then again, I will, and I never have," Steiner tells a press conference.
DECEMBER
Dean Rosovsky warms students to prepare for the winter's oil shortage. "We plan to lengthen winter recess four months and extend the school year until October. Seniors will have the option of finishing their studies or not," Rosovsky says. "Under our Optional Graduation Plan, seniors with prior commitments for next fall may send in the appropriate matchbook cover for our Harvard-at-Home Handy Study Course."
Robert J. Kiely, professor of English, Master of Adams House, chairman of the Committees on General Education and on Undergraduate Education, and associate dean of the Faculty, is appointed to chair a University-wide committee on the decentralization of decision-making at Harvard.
David Halberstam comes to Cambridge to push his latest best-seller, a history of the influence squatters exerted on the settlement of California by refusing to spend money, entitled The West and the Tightest.
Derek Bok, after another year's discouraging identity crisis, tries in vain to resign his presidency. "Honestly, I had my letter all typed up," Bok tells The Crimson; "I just didn't' know whose name to put at the bottom."