George Romney tells the press that the Archangel Macaroon considers Michigan the best-run state in the Union. Henry Kissinger writes a sequel to the Allen Drury series, Advise and Plot, which paints a macabre allegorical picture of academics in Washington. In a six hour address to the Cuban people, Fidel Castro is afflicted with hiccoughs. The hiccoughs cannot be stopped, doctors say.
OCTOBER
The Vatican Council resumes deliberations. Three papal encyclicals are issued: Cui Bono? (on industrialization in underdeveloped countries); Sic Semper Tyrannis (on Castro's hiccoughs); and Atinlay Oseslay (on the use of the vernacular in the Mass). The New York Yankees, having won the World Series, become a public corporation listed on the New York Stock Exchange.
NOVEMBER
In a special Thanksgiving Day message, George Romney announces that the Archangel Michigan has told him that God is praying for Romney as the next U.S. President. H. Stuart Hughes murmurs vaguely, "If there were a God, He could not but help favor my candidacy."
Winston Churchill, hale and hearty as ever, celebrates his third birthday of the year from the French Riviera. He notes with pleasure that the "Western Alliance of English-speaking and other sorts of peoples" remains firm. De Gaulle rushes to the Riviera and slaps Churchill's face with a white glove. A new strain in the Alliance develops. Dean Ford, receiving the news in the middle of a Faculty meeting on granting Ph.D.'s to Advanced Standing undergraduates, chuckles, and leaves immediately for France. "What a lark," he tells reporters at the airport.
President Pusey solemnly resigns his office to become Master of the new co-educational House. He issues the following poem:
O domus nova,
How I love ya.
DECEMBER
Teddy Kennedy, in his maiden speech on the Senate floor, wishes all his colleagues a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Foreign diplomats interpret the 30-second speech as a plea from the Administration for good will in the Atlantic Alliance. De Gaulle interprets the speech as nonsense. A simultaneous translator interprets the speech into grammatical English.
President Kennedy meanwhile works with his speechwriters on a rough draft of the next year's State of the Union address, in which he will announce that he is indeed pleased with himself.