Splasherette";

I flip 'em and fling 'em--

Move on! Or I'll do

Rasher yet!

The New Republic in a fearless expose says: "College students are more or less naughty. They have a good deal of experimenting to do." And if one doesn't believe it, here are the shocking details: "The coeds smoke. At Vassar, 433 of them." The wicked place! How long has this coed business been going on?

That impeccable magazine, Motion Picture Classic, disputes with Vanity Fair the right to tell the American people how to do what when. In a current advertisement it asks these questions of a baffled public:

"Do you know what is the correct procedure when a movie star is about to be pictorially married? Do you know what fashion dictates to be worn for an elopement with the other man? Can you descend from a burning building in perfect taste?"

If Motion Picture Classic would curry favor at the University, it is suggested that it ask and answer such questions as the following:

"Do you know what is the correct procedure when a professor fails to appear at eight minutes past the hour? Do you know what fashion dictates to be worn at parties in Big Tree? Can you rise and depart in the middle of a lecture which bores you with perfect, equanimity?"

In a recent lecture a Harvard professor said: "Lord Kelvin, while at the University of Glasgow, neglected his students and did a great many worth while things for the world." Many a professor has found it useful to observe Lord Kelvin's distinction between "students" and "worth while things".

It seems cruel to disillusion young and hopeful natures. The time has now come, however, when, in the interest of their progress in the useful arts, all Freshmen should be told that there is No such grade as "A".

No distinction to be gained by complaining of the food.

No sense trying to get a book at the delivery desk.

No "graft" course which is skid-proof.

No excuse for optimism.