{shortcode-af79cbc9050cc9f664367f12c63ce3ee3c91c788}With only four years at the College, some might argue that time to complete the four undergraduate traditions is quite limited. However, as experts on campus life, we can confidently say that those people are wrong. Even the prefrosh taking their math placement tests this summer can tell you that you’d only need to complete one tradition per year to finish all four; that’s a rather abysmal level of accomplishment, not at all appropriate for our hallowed institution. To rectify this, we’ve compiled a much longer list of the experiences that truly compose our “transformative education.” You’re welcome.
Loudly dropping something in Loker Reading Room
This one only counts if it’s an accident. Bonus points for metal water bottles.
Soaking in the vibes of Grensday
Self explanatory: Grendel’s on a Wednesday.
Adding everyone on Linkedin who goes to Harvard
Bonus points if you have them on Instagram and know them exclusively through their profile picture.
Clicking “Love Only” on Datamatch and then refusing to match with anyone
Cowardice? Commitment issues? We prefer to think of it as maintaining your air of mystery.
Wearing pajamas to weekend office hours
Bonus points if they’re patterned. Let your favorite TF learn your favorite dinosaur. Rawr.
Switching between pre-med (or pre-law) and consulting
Usually after taking Chem 17 or Chem 27. Or right after dropping HUCG comp. Sigh.
Smiling and nodding when a tourist asks if they should rub John Harvard’s foot for good luck
This one’s diabolical. You are evil.
Having your MIT frat experience
You’ll go once and never feel the urge to go back. Ever.
Going on a date with someone from MIT
No, they’re not better off campus.
Going on a date with someone from Tufts
If you thought the other one was bad, don’t do this. Ever. Feel the fiery wrath of hell before you ever attempt this right of passage.
Frantically skimming your readings for a class discussion at the beginning of the class
A skim is a win sometimes. Or you can phone a friend (Chat GPT).
Pretending to love Felipe’s rooftop just because the drinks are cheap
We truly are broke college students here.
Doing your club homework before your chores or real homework
Priorities, right?
Forgetting your room key before showering in a communal bathroom, then standing outside waiting for Securitas in nothing but a towel
One of the most intimate interactions you’ll ever experience on campus, but it happens to us all.
These experiences might be tamer than the archetypal four, but we believe that no four years at the College could be complete without them. If you still have some time left in your undergraduate career, we hope you’ll relish completing each and every one of them (some mostly in retrospect) at a respectable rate of four to five per year. If you’re about to receive your diploma on Commencement Day, we hope you’ll remember the time spent suffering enjoying these rites of passage with fondness. No one will believe you when — okay, let’s be real, if — you say that Harvard students know how to party but you can always pretend.