{shortcode-d92fef1d3e462a48ba9220c9534c906a0f9e5004}What do the first few weeks of school have in store for you? Look no further. Since we enjoy psychoanalyzing people and pretending the result has something to do with their birth month, here’s what the back-to-school season has in store for each of the zodiac signs (based on nothing but astrology TikTok and the aforementioned psychoanalyzed people).


Welcome to Virgo season! We say in fear. A sun in Virgo, Mars in Gemini, and Jupiter in Aries will bring a boost of determination and confidence to our favorite overachievers. Maybe this will empower you to take six classes, instead of your normal five. We urge you to reconsider, though, and instead let the Pisces moon help you focus on developing your relationships. Misunderstandings may arise, but remember: a flexible attitude is the best approach. We know — it’s hard.


While this may sound blunt, it must be said: it is time for you to decide on your schedule. It’s normal to struggle when deciding on classes. It’s normal to sometimes regret the classes you chose. It’s not normal to add 20 classes to your Crimson Cart and repeatedly email your advisor to lift the add/drop hold. Mercury is currently in Libra, so this will be a busy time for you socially (as always, of course). However, with Mercury in retrograde later this month, plans might have to be reconsidered.


Now’s the time to focus on relationships — that is, of the romantic kind. With the moon in Pisces, your love life will be brought to the forefront. So, sit next to your section crush. Be open to that beginning-of-semester fling. Leo season might have made you some more enemies, but everyone on BookTok (I got sidetracked) would agree that enemies-to-lovers is the best romantic trope.


What an exciting time of the year! Too bad you’re sick. Excessive socialization is not an excusable absence, so perhaps take some time to recuperate, if for only a couple days. When the momentum returns, capitalize on it: Mercury and Jupiter’s alignment may create space for self expression, passion, and connection. While we’ll love the energy, maybe try to cool it on the theatrics and exaggerations. (I’m a Sagittarius, so this is more a moment of self-reflection than anything.)


Look at you getting back into your “school routine.” This may be a time of reinvigoration as you reorganize your space, rethink your beliefs, and revitalize your habits. Head to Paper Source to get that planner you’ve always wanted. Heck, start doing yoga in the morning. Now is the time to set healthy goals for yourself and your year (no pressure). With Venus in Virgo, you may be feeling an intellectual spark with others. Chances are you won’t find marriage material in Ec 1010, but a little crush is always fun.


You’ve started off the semester strong by completing your readings. You may not be able to keep that up, but everyone knows “not reading” is basically “skimming” is basically “reading.” Your schedule might be overbooked but just remember, you can’t be in two places at once. Sometimes, you can’t even be in one place at once (up for interpretation). Mars in Gemini may brew romance and creativity, and a moon in Pisces may help you realize what brings you comfort and security (sure, your dorm room gallery wall counts).


Oh Pisces. Sweet Pisces. You may still be unsure of your place this semester, especially socially. However, the moon in Pisces will bring a period of release and transformation. Following the full moon this month, make space for new possibilities and look forward to some exciting news or opportunities. Look at the beginning of this year as a fresh start. Go by a new nickname! Pick a new Instagram aesthetic! As long as these changes are authentic and bring you energy.


You’re busy. You’re slaying. You’re turning heads confidently strutting to class. You’re making Sweetgreen-level bowls in the dhall. You’re blacking out on a Thursday? Just remember, we haven’t even had a full week of school yet. Some insecurities and fears may arise, but spending time with close ones will probably surely sort that out. If conflicts come up, stay true to yourself and be active and direct — Mercury retrograde can cause miscommunications.


While you may be often reflecting on the past, you’re also focusing on the future. You may be growing into a new leadership position, managing new resources, and achieving your productivity goals. You’ve been staying grounded and carrying your friend group’s sanity for a while, and you deserve a break. Take a relaxing day: go for a walk, practice that instrument we all know you play, or start prepping your fall wardrobe. The vibes are good, and it looks like they will stay that way (knock on wood).


You’re having a lovely time flirting with crushes, making section friends, and saying hi to everyone in the dhall again. As the invitations pile up, you may feel pulled between two groups or two paths. We have no advice — this just might happen. Later in the month, you may start to feel a sense of idleness or exhaustion, but don’t worry, you’re not entering your flop era. Rather, take some time to ground yourself before your most whimsical fantasies come true.


Have you dropped your first week of school Instagram post yet? If not, get on that! Everyone wants to see how glamorous college life has been for you so far. Venus in Virgo brings confidence, financial success, and sentimentality. Channel this by giving someone a nice handmade gift (bonus points if it’s me <3). While we love the confidence, it’s okay to admit when things do not go as expected. The first weeks of school are a hard adjustment for everyone. And, we’re sure you’re a pretty crier too.


It seems as though you have not yet established your school routine (did it ever exist?). Remember: laundry should be done once a week, your bed should be made everyday, and you should not consume more than one scorpion bowl ever. No, not even after your professor cold-called you. With Venus connecting ;) with Uranus, your social life might be extra busy. There might even be time to have some novel experiences. We’ll admit it, we have no idea what Mercury retrograde actually means. However, it does seem like this time will bring some deep introspection. Maybe reconnect with your therapist in anticipation.

If you read this and related — cool! If you read this and didn’t relate — just you wait.