Believe me, I am grateful that no one has defecated on Harvard laundry, but I’ve suddenly realized that I have no laundry to be soiled because it turns out Harvard students do not know how to properly use laundry machines at all.

Taking care of your own clothes may be a foreign concept, especially if it’s the first time you’re on your own, but that's no excuse; at this point the experience of cleaning my clothes has become absolutely exasperating.

One of the worst crimes apart from murder, biking in the Yard, and loving Yale is that of leaving your laundry in a machine for the whole day. No one wants to take out your wet clothes. No one should take out your wet clothes. You have a timer on your phone for a reason. It’s not that hard to take thirty minutes away from sleeping in Lamont to move your laundry so someone else can wash out the beer and soda from their last dorm party.

For those who do take out their laundry, congratulations! But the battle isn’t over. Make sure to take everything out. Nothing is worse than taking out  my clothes and finding a piece of underwear that isn’t mine. Check, then double check, then triple check if you have taken everything out. I just don’t want half of your lucky pair of socks.

Also be careful of what you’re putting in the machines. It’s always a great, but mostly terrible, surprise for me to see the many strange things that can be plucked from a washer or a dryer—like Chipotle wrappers or used band-aids.

And if you really can’t handle doing it on your own, there’s always HSA Cleaners!