We could talk about how the Crimson lost to the Bulldogs in the inaugural Ivy League tournament after beating them twice in the regular season. We could talk about how Yale coach James Jones really, really doesn’t like Harvard. We could even talk about football—after seeing its team lose at home to the Crimson last season, the Yale crowd erupted into chants of “Let’s play football.” It was hilarious. We could dig even further, to 2015 when the two matched up in a winner-take-all playoff game and the Crimson came out on top to rob the Bulldogs of their first chance to dance in a long time.

The truth of the matter, though, is that both of these teams have been as lackluster and as injury-plagued as Derrick Rose.

Let me also just say that, as a Chicago native, that one really hurt to write.

Harvard enters as the Golden State Warriors of the matchup—only imagine the Warriors shooting 30 percent from three and Steph Curry is playing four minutes a game at the moment.

Yale is kind of like the Hornets—they were supposed to compete with anyone except then they lost to everyone and then they lost to Brown too. Also imagine they’re all on crutches.

That’s the sad reality of this matchup. Harvard guard Bryce Aiken comes in recovering from a knee injury while Yale lost forward Jordan Bruner to a meniscus tear and Makai Mason has yet to make his return to the court.

Twenty years ago today, Bill Clinton (a 1973 graduate of Yale Law School) denied having had sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky on national television. What we can’t deny, though, is that one injured player is less than two.

Pick: Harvard

HARVARD AT BROWN

According to the Brown Daily Herald, Brown’s growing Computer Science department is struggling to pay its teaching assistants—it’s not the only instance of struggle in Providence, though. While the Bears have a winning record, I’m not sure it counts if wins come against schools such as Division III Johnson & Wales. This might be closer than people think, but the Brown Bears remain cubs for the time being.

Pick: Harvard

COLUMBIA AT CORNELL

Ah, the Gentleman C’s.

We did a bit of research and realized the phrase does not actually refer to Cornell and Columbia—instead it was actually a phrase used to describe the grade given to the children of wealthy parents who would have otherwise had a failing grade. I guess the moniker is a bit accurate then—Columbia and Cornell definitely fit the bill of institutions buoyed by association.

Regardless, all the money in the world probably couldn’t buy Cornell a good roster.