Exactly two states didn’t ratify the 18th Amendment. One was Rhode Island, which doesn’t count for the same reason that Pluto doesn’t count as a planet. One was Connecticut. The obvious explanation, evident from my visits to the Constitution State, is that Connecticut residents couldn’t survive without booze.

New Haven isn’t a city so much as a massive toilet. And Yale isn’t a school so much as a massive zoo.

However, Connecticut may finally have a winner. Last weekend, the Bulldogs demolished Lehigh, 56-28. Yale students, gone are the days of Smirnoff and Genesee. You have a new savior now. His name is Kurt Rawlings (sophomore quarterback), and on Saturday, he completed 20 of 26 passes for 308 yards.

The prudent among us may wonder about the Big Red. Won’t Cornell provide resistance?

Dear reader: Can penguins fly? Is water dry? Has anyone ever left Ithaca and said, “Gee, I can’t wait to go back”?

Pick: Yale 38, Cornell 17

HOLY CROSS AT DARTMOUTH

Recently, a spate of scam calls has bedeviled the Dartmouth campus. Hucksters phone and pose as the Hanover Police Department. They demand $5,000 and threaten an arrest warrant if the person hangs up.

I tell this story to suggest that local students have learned to separate the real from the ersatz. Which makes Big Green football all the more perplexing.

Last Saturday, Dartmouth destroyed Stetson the same way that the Harvard Management Company destroyed the endowment. Holy Cross will provide a tougher test. Senior quarterback Peter Pujals has led the Crusaders for a millenia, and the team sits at No. 25 in FCS rankings.

Besides Columbia-Georgetown, which no one cares about, this contest holds the most intrigue. I tend towards Holy Cross because an experienced quarterback means the world. Plus, Dartmouth may forfeit when the Hanover Police Department calls and demands a loss.

Pick: Holy Cross 31, Dartmouth 30

PENN AT LEHIGH

I’m convinced that Penn wide receiver Justin Watson is a terminator.

As a high school senior, he led his team to a 16-0 record. In 2016, he posted 10 or more catches in the last five games, including contests against first-place Princeton (12 catches for 82 yards) and Harvard (10 catches for 120 yards).