“Beyoncé -The Study” is a new Harvard Business School case study that examines the business operations behind the powerful music industry figure. But why stop at the B School? FM thinks every Harvard grad school should incorporate Beyoncé into its curriculum.  

Graduate School of Education
This study tries to answer the question: “If Beyoncé never graduated from high school, why should I?” As a future educator, this question will be the toughest you will get from your pupils. As of yet, there is no clear answer.

Medical School
In 2004, the word “bootylicious” was added to the Oxford English Dictionary. Since then, demand for butt implants has increased by 4,000 percent. In this class, you will learn how to effectively craft the ideal buttocks for a patient. Medical students will use a plaster cast of Beyoncé’s booty—hand-crafted by the Graduate School of Design—as the model bum.

Radcliffe Institute for Advanced Study
Is Beyoncé a feminist? Do you have the right to claim someone is not a feminist if that someone is Beyoncé? Who is the arbitrator of feminism? Is it Emma Watson? Is it Shailene Woodley or is she just that fucking actress from ABC Family’s The Secret Life of the American Teenager? Is it Reina A.E. Gattuso ’15? Probably. By reading only poorly written “think pieces” about Beyoncé, students will examine the online furor surrounding the use of the word feminism.

School of Engineering and Applied Sciences
SEAS is running an experiment to measure the effects of a physical confrontation on the velocity and acceleration of an elevator. They are seeking participants, a woman and a man to mock fight, a man to attempt to separate them and a woman to stand in the corner and do nothing.

Divinity School
The Harvard Divinity School, through this case study, will examine the evidence for and against the belief that Beyoncé is a supernatural being as the followers of Bey-ism claim. Included is evidence of the performance of miracles, such as the resurrection of Madonna’s music career, and eyewitness statements from the night she ascended into Heaven from the site of the Superdome. Praised by the Holy Trinity: Beyoncé, Blue Ivy, Beyoncé.

Kennedy School of Government
Are you prepared for the coronation of Queen Beyoncé? This class will examine institutional preparedness for the reign of the new leader of the world. How will transnational organizations be affected by the inevitable rise of the supreme? Are they ready for this jelly?