PBR:

High alcohol content

Sometimes on tap

People don’t know what it stands for

One must sacrifice good taste to drink it

High success rate when used in pick-up line with hipster

Drink more than four to feel its effects

Enjoyed by fraternities

PBK:

High GPA

Sometimes tapped

People don’t know what it translates to

One must sacrifice social life to earn it

Terrible success rate when used in pick-up line with hipster

Get it once to feel its effects

Sounds like a fraternity

Both:

After age 23, only mentioned in nostalgia

After two weeks in the library, smell slightly stale

The earlier, the better

Grey Goose is better