1.  In order to ring Lowell’s bells, you must complete a semester-long comp process, allowing you to join the Lowell House Society of Russian Bell Ringers. This is one extracurricular that will definitely lead to a job after college.

2.  Signs that say “You Must Be 21+ To Drink” hang directly over the freshman pouring himself a shot of Rubinoff.

3.  Midterms don’t just happen in the middle of the term. They happen all the time. The only thing that happens more than midterms is people complaining about them.

4.  At any time of day or night, you can expect to see a woman in colonial attire leading a group of extremely serious foreign businessmen around campus and pointing out classic New England landmarks, such as Tasty Burger.

5.  After asking a friend to play a casual game of tennis/chess/Apples to Apples, you find out that he/she has not only played before but has competed in the French Open/U.S. Chess Championship/International Tournament of Games That Really Don’t Need to Be Competitive.

6.  Your school has an endowment of $32.7 billion, recently launched a campaign to raise an additional $6.5 billion, and still charges you $0.10 to print a response paper in Lamont.

7.  You may be using the same sink that Franklin Delano Roosevelt used when he was a student here. You throw up in said sink at 3:00 a.m. after coming home from The Delphic.

8.  While drunk, you pee on someone’s foot, and it’s totally okay.

9.  You put on a suit and begin to express doubts about working for the non-profit you once thought could change the world, and before you can say “selling out,” you find yourself carrying a briefcase into Goldman Sachs.

10.  As much as you mock all of the above aspects of your school, you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.