This Is What Talking to Your Advisor Is Like



Great options! If you choose Economics, you’ll probably end up working in consulting. If you choose English, you’ll also work in consulting, but with a firmer grasp of James Joyce.



FRESHMAN YEAR

Advisor: So, what are you thinking about concentrating in?

Student: I don’t even know what that word means.

Advisor: It’s like a major but you can only choose Economics or something intellectual-sounding with a secondary in Economics.

Student: Well, should I also be thinking about Gen Ed requirements?

Advisor: I don’t know. I’m a swim coach.

Student: You must know something about Harvard.

Advisor: I coach at BU.

SOPHOMORE YEAR

Advisor: Welcome back! How are you liking the Quad?

Student: I feel empty inside.

Advisor: Cool! So what concentrations are you thinking about!?

Student: Economics or English, but, to be honest, after the death of my au-

Advisor: Great options! If you choose Economics, you’ll probably end up working in consulting. If you choose English, you’ll also work in consulting, but with a firmer grasp of James Joyce.

Student: Nothing matters.

Advisor: Storage matters! It closes at 7:30 a.m.

JUNIOR YEAR

Advisor: How are you feeling about your concentration choice?

Student: It’s pretty good, but it feels kind of anonymous.

Advisor: Well, Tim, if you wanted to be hugged you could’ve done Folklore and Mythology.

Student: My name is Emily.

Advisor: I’m going to call you Tim.

SENIOR YEAR

Advisor: How did thesis research go this summer?

Student: I want to drop it.

Advisor: That’s…awkward for our concentration statistics.

Student: Well, could you help me interpret this data.

Advisor: Oooh, there are a lot of pages, and I have a New York Times op-ed to write.

Student: But I don’t even know what the word regression means.

Advisor: I don’t either. I’m a swim coach.