David also says that it is unlikely that he will ever move back to his hometown. But he still struggles with if, and when, he should tell his Asian immigrant parents, with whom he is very close.

David says he fears disappointing or embarrassing them.

“I grew up hearing things about my wife and kids,” David says. “They’re very traditional in the sense of the stereotypical family values.”

Though going home is a similar source of anxiety for Matt, he says it’s one he feels like he has to confront. While he has always wanted to return home after graduation to fix some of his hometown’s social problems, he says he is not ready to necessarily become a social pariah.

“Home is the place I love and grew up in, but it’s also the place that I hate,” Matt says.

Even at Harvard, Erica says she still fears that her parents will somehow find out about her sexuality. Because Erica comes from a tight-knit immigrant community, she says she has consciously decided to not maintain many friendships with members of her own ethnicity.

“People talk a lot, and for whatever reason parents find out what their kids are doing in college,” she says.

Nevertheless, during this past year Erica says she has been “feeling an itch” to come out to her parents, and may even tell them during the time between when she graduates next month and when she starts medical school in a year. “Maybe this year is the year.”

—Staff writer Melanie A. Guzman can be reached at melanieguzman@college.harvard.edu.