“I think, retrospectively, I am extremely grateful I am gay because otherwise I wouldn’t have had that kind of focal point to really grapple with my faith,” she adds.

Erica says she started realizing she liked women in high school, but was too busy academically to pursue relationships. When she started college, she identified as bisexual and explored relationships with both men and women.

“I’m not sure if I ever made that active switch, like ‘No I’m not bisexual anymore; I’m a lesbian,’” Erica says. “But it came to the point where I was just not interested in guys anymore.”

Though her parents are not religious, Erica says she is still not comfortable discussing her sexuality with them yet. She and her mom are very close, but Erica says she is unable to talk to her mom about her relationships or the way she has struggled to reconcile her sexuality and her religion.

She adds that she was unsure of how to even broach the subject with her parents.

Conversations, as a result, are limited mostly to school and work.

“I feel like I’ve been so honest with my mom about so many different things, but this is that one hole that she doesn’t really know about,” Erica says.

HOME SWEET HARVARD?

For many students, Harvard fosters a more welcoming environment for them to come out as LGBTQ.

Upon arriving at Harvard freshman year, Erica says she immediately befriended the queer community. Since many of her friends came out, Erica says she never felt discriminated against.

“It could be that I’m oblivious, but Harvard is so accepting,” Erica said.

David says he has encountered a similar dynamic while at Harvard.

He arrived at Harvard still unsure of his sexuality. Once he realized he was gay, a diverse student body and open-minded friends presented a comfortable space for him to come out.

“Had I been at another school, I don’t know if I would be in the same boat right now,” David says. “I still think I’d be just trucking along and suppressing that part of my life.”

A variety of established resources exist at Harvard intended to help students navigate the process of coming out, both at school and at home. For example, CONTACT Peer Counseling’s November event “Out for the Holidays” attracted 60 students, according to the co-directors of the group.