8. “I specifically ordered persian rugs with cherub imagery!!! What do I have to do to get a simple persian rug with cherub imagery uuuuugh.”
Because excess isn’t what it used to be.
9. “What’s better for devil worshipping Iphone or the Droid... Does lucifer return text... is he or she on Skype? Don’t wanna be sexist.”
Because 2010 was a year for worrying more about political correctness than eternal damnation.
10. “Everything sounds like noise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTHING SOUNDS LIKE NOISE!!!!!!! I don’t trust anyone!”
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Because this year left me confused, too.
—Adam T. Horn is the incoming Columns Editor. Columns are his beautiful dark twisted fantasy.