Dear Nikki,

I’m the most indecisive person I know. Whether it’s about relationships, the classes I want to take, or whether or not I will go away for a weekend, I always have so much trouble making decisions. Does this mean I’m just a thoughtful person or am I thinking through things too much?

—Vacillating Victim

Being clear about your desires demonstrates not only a sense of confidencebut a sense of self.

So, the answer to your question is yes—you are thinking through your decisions too much.

While having a sense of what you want will help you make a good decision, that doesn’t mean you need to be perfectly “in touch” with yourself. No one really is, except perhaps the Dalai Lama.

Though medicine and pseudoscience might dictate specific regimens to follow, the most important component of a good decision is simply practical reasoning. And all that means is that you need to use a little bit of both calculation and intuition. Follow a philosophy of “informed intuition”: Pay attention to your gut feeling but also make sure that you’ve done your research. Learn to trust yourself a little bit. Well, unless you were that guy in the bright neon green suit I saw yesterday in Boston.

The truth is that no matter how little you feel you know yourself, you know yourself better than anyone else does-and so, believe it or not, you’re the most qualified to make decisions for you.

This of course doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t ask other people for advice. Checking in with others who have had similar experiences is important. And thinking through your decisions thoroughly—especially when they’re big decisions—is also important. But you will never escape the ultimate end result: you eventually have to decide.

Most decisions (especially the weighty ones) don’t offer a clearly delineated diagram of right vs. wrong. So don’t get caught in a muddle of over-analysis. I’m not suggesting that you turn into an impulsive maniac, but there should be a happy medium. Indecision can be just as dangerous as rashness.

Bottom line: Yes, decisions can be overwhelming. But unless you step up to the plate and make them, you’re going to find yourself floundering. Make some decisions on your own and learn from your mistakes. Live a little. Be active, not passive.

Remember that it’s a privilege to have to have choices. This is freedom at work, baby. Avoiding them will leave you waiting for Godot, in an endless cycle of aimlessness.

Sincerely,

Nikki, who just made an active decision to go take a nap.

—”Dear Nikki” will run on Mondays. Send letters to DearNikki@thecrimson.com. Letters will be published anonymously.