Dear Nikki,

I thought that social “cliques” would have disappeared after high school,but I feel like since I’ve come to Harvard, I’m surrounded by different cliques and I don’t really fit into any of them. What should I do?

­­­—Friendless Freshman

Kudos on an accurate observation: Cliques never go away, nor is their clout confined to the high school arena. But never fear: the formulaic alignments of jocks, nerds, surfers, and hackers do not have much of a chance of haunting you during your time here.

While it would be foolish to claim that cliques don’t exist at Harvard, they don’t define life here either. I can promise that a Rydell High Sandra Dee experience is not in store for you upon entering Johnston Gate, and that while some Harvard cliques may prefer pink polo shirts, they won’t sport Pink Lady jackets as a sign of their exclusivity.

Whether we like it or not, cliques are a natural social phenomenon. And while in a utopian society, we might all mill about in a universal circle of love, I’m pretty confident that will never happen anywhere, nevermind at Harvard.

But luckily for us, though cliques do exist on campus, they have successfully avoided becoming categorized by a hierarchical structure that defines who will win a spot in the upper echelon of popularity. Instead, different cliques on campus attract people with varying interests—and you don’t have to choose one stereotype to stick with for the remainder of your four years here (though of course there are some who choose to do so).

Choosing friends is one of the greatest—though scariest—things about college. So go out there and introduce yourself. Get some digits. See what you have in common (or not) with others around you, and don’t assign some false value to groups that seem impenetrable. I’m sure that you’ll find at least a dozen different groups that you’d like to hang out with, or at the very least, an Annenberg breakfast partner. It is possible to navigate among the swarms of faces to find the ones that are smiling at you.

And when you get confused and overwhelmed as to whether or not you’re hanging out with the “right” groups, just chill out. If you are always worrying about your social standing, you’ll never have any fun.

Social life should be the part about college you’re not constantly worried about: save the analysis for the classroom (and your post-Harvard therapy sessions).

Sincerely,

Nikki, who is a member emeritus of the advice column clique