I’m still in a relationship with my girlfriend from high school, and while things are good overall, we still have pretty frequent fights about jealousy and being far apart. What do you think I should do?

—Befuddled Boyfriend

Ah, yes—the good-ol’ “High School Sweetheart Dilemma,” a challenge that has plagued college students for ages.

To be blunt, I believe that novelist George Whyte-Melville had it right when he said that “we always believe that our first Love is our last, and our last Love is our first.” In other words, the notion that you have found “the one” is most likely not true. And while long distance relationships seem feasible in theory, their success rates are dismally low.

That said, this does not mean that your relationship is categorically doomed. You shouldn’t give up hope just because the majority of the cases haven’t worked out. This does mean, however, that you should increase your awareness of the decision you’re making and why you’re making it.

Do you want to stay with your girlfriend because it’s the more comfortable and easy thing to do? Because you think that breaking up with her would hurt her feelings? Because you think she’ll be a good back-up if you don’t find anyone better at school? These would all—surprise, surprise—be bad reasons to stay together. Choosing this route may be preventing you from seizing new opportunities.

If, instead, you really feel that maintaining a relationship with your girlfriend is really important to you, that you can’t imagine being without her, and if you’re willing to shell out the cash for a couple of train trips (or flights) here and there, then the next step is to make sure that you do things right to keep you both sane.

Here are some tips to make your love last (in a healthy way). First of all, make sure that you and your “lovah” are on the same page about your feelings and the relationship. This does not translate to three-hour conversations every night about your emotions (that would be bad!), but it does mean that you need to check in on a regular basis. Also, when you do get the chance to see one another, it should be special. Plan specific dates for a rendez-vous, and make an effort to meet each other’s friends as well.

Most importantly, don’t limit yourself when it comes to meeting other people. You shouldn’t reject going out on Saturday night because you have a girlfriend. If either one of you is often feeling jealous (which is, in my opinion, the most vicious of sentiments) then maybe you need to readdress why you’re in the relationship right now. Distance has no chance in winning a fight against a relationship based on mutual respect and trust, but it will destroy ones that are treading on unstable ground. Don’t let drama and fighting run your life.

Remember that long-distance relationships will not necessarily only be an issue during college. In the coming years, jobs and travel also bring people apart. The decision you are confronting now is not, therefore, whether or not you are “equipped” for a long-distance relationship but instead whether you are ready for one, with her, right now.

Sincerely,

Nikki, who may be biased as she is not on good terms with her high school sweetheart.

—“Dear Nikki” will run on Mondays. Send letters to DearNikki@thecrimson.com. Letters will be published anonymously.