Dear Nikki,

I always feel stressed out. Everyone else seems to know what the next step is after college, but I don’t. I can’t bring myself to focus on work because I’m always worried about how much I have to do. Any suggestions?

—Stressed Senior

First of all, take a deep breath. You are not alone. We are all plagued by the uncertainty of what the “next step” is and feel like there are a million different things to do at the same time. Even if it doesn’t seem like it, all your peers are nervous, gauging their own progress by the standards of others, and questioning themselves as they prepare to take the plunge into the “real world.”

You should keep in mind that there is an important difference between stress and anxiety. Stress is an inevitable component of our lives, and it can actually be a force that motivates us to work toward achieving our goals. Anxiety, however, is a force that is detrimental to our progress, and occurs when our stress reaches levels so high that we are no longer productive.

So the key is not to eliminate stress in your life, because that is impossible—you cannot avoid the problem set you have due on Friday, the frazzled call from your aunt, or the guy that keeps calling you 10 times a night. Instead, you need to figure out the best way to cope with the different stresses in your life right now and prevent them from crossing the boundary into the realm of “anxiety.”

Your worries over post-Harvard plans are completely understandable. It’s important to recognize that these worries most likley stem not from the frustration caused by lack of opportunity after college but instead from the overwhelming number of possibilities. Though the notion that you can “be anyone” and “do anything” may seem liberating in the abstract, it is far from comforting—fretting about which door to open can be as debilitating as having no doors at all.

So, the first step is research: take time to talk to people from different fields and learn about the different opportunities out there. Use the resources that Harvard does have—the Office of Career Services, House advisors, friends (!), professors, TFs—to help guide you through this maze. In the midst of intense recruiting season, it can be overwhelming to see friends shuffled through workshops, interviews, and fellowship meetings. But don’t feel like everyone else has it figured out. They don’t.

Also, your first job right after college is not the predictor of the rest of your life. So be comfortable with going with the flow a little bit. At the same time, don’t shy away from confronting decisions and doing what you can to be informed and move forward. This is not the time to run away from your fears (i.e. procrastinate).

Making decisions doesn’t mean closing off doors…it instead means choosing a particular route for now. These choices are malleable, so you will not be trapped forever. Go for your dreams—crippling cynicism is so unattractive at this age. And have back-up plans to make yourself feel more secure.

At the same time, this is your senior year. And you should enjoy it. Go out dancing and shake your hips with everyone when Beyoncé’s “Crazy in Love” comes on. Enjoy just shooting the shit with friends.

Clinging to junior year,

Nikki

Dear Nikki,