Xavier McDaniel was once a student, as he too went to college (Wichita State). Heck, Xavier McDaniel also was located in the Boston area—he played for the Celtics, if you didn’t know. Xavier McDaniel, for your information, is himself a so-called “athletic center.”

And Xavier McDaniel, good people of Harvard University, would undoubtedly choose to construct a full-sized SlamBall court with that money.

Case closed.

Before you dismiss the idea as stupid, just think about it.

How unbelievable would it be to have recreational SlamBall games whenever you wanted?

To go flying across the court in that downtime between lecture and section on any given weekday, only to put the ball three times in a row between your legs—as actually seen during the first ever SlamBall Dunk Contest—and then jam it home?

Wait. Dare I say it: SlamBall intramurals?

The existence of a SlamBall court (or two) would be enough to lure absolutely any student away from Yale, or Princeton, or Stanford, or wherever other kids are going these days. I am fully confident in the phenomenon’s ability to put Harvard University on the cutting edge of both popular culture and sports in one fell swoop.

And those, friends, judging by the various Undergraduate Council platforms and complaints in dining halls, are two areas in which we are sorely lacking within the current structure. The benefit to so-called student life under my plan would be staggering.

I want to do this. You want to do it. We all want to do it, even if some of us don’t know it yet.

When the word of SlamBall is spread, and it starts knocking American Idol off the top of the Nielsen Ratings, you’ll thank me.

So, Harvard, make it happen: when SlamBall first becomes a club sport, then works its way up the ranks to official Division I activity, we will have been at the forefront, with the groundwork already laid for a dynasty.

“Respect me, or I’ll knock you the [expletive] out,” Xavier McDaniel supposedly told his charges on the Riders in their first meeting together.

He and Jellybean had a vision that brought them to SlamBall—and to you, that vision should be as clear as day.

—Staff writer Pablo S. Torre can be reached at torre@fas.harvard.edu. His column appears on alternate Mondays.