Luring the likes of Joe “Jellybean” Bryant and Xavier “The X-Man” McDaniel away from NBA retirement is no small task, I assure you. Cushy home furnishings and lounging-related activities are the universal hallmarks of ex-player life, and, let’s face it, neither of them has Michael Jordan or even Dennis Rodman-like prospects for a comeback.

But this wasn’t basketball calling for them. This wasn’t for a lucrative salary, or even fame. They gave up the gentle lull of civilian life because they had a vision.

And that vision, my friends, is SlamBall.

SlamBall, for the uninitiated, can best be described as the lovechild of basketball, football and the movie The Rocketeer. One could also summarize the game, broadcast on SpikeTV, as the perfect, long-awaited marriage between the hard-wood court and a trampoline—a beautiful, sexy trampoline with a ninja-like instinct for mayhem.

Eight armored players take the floor—which has said trampolines surrounding each basket—with one “handler,” two “gunners” and one “stopper” for each squad at a time. The acrobatic moves and punishing hits are indescribably breathtaking.

Jellybean and X-Man are now head coaches in the sport, steering the Diablos and Riders, respectively, towards the ultimate goal of capturing the season-two championship. No, they’re not putting on the pads for the squads they manage, but they are clearly doing what they can to get a piece of the Slam-tastic action—even if it means coaching, and not partaking, in the angry, physically improbable ballet that SlamBall provides.

When I heard of Bryant and McDaniel’s newfound profession, two things immediately happened.

The first was shock, because—save a brief stint with the Knicks—I had been unsure as to Xavier McDaniel’s modern-day existence.

The second, however, was revelation.

Wasn’t Harvard University planning a two million dollar renovation of our very own Malkin Athletic Center?

And wasn’t it supposed to do something vague like “boost the amount of available workout equipment by 90 percent and nearly double the space available for student recreational athletics by Fall 2004”?

Okay, fine. So the University Hall big-wigs may have an idea as to what to do with their copious amounts of money, but I think we should all ask ourselves one, fundamental question: “WWXD?”

Or, for the slower among you: “What would Xavier do?”

Why, you ask? Maybe the better question, friends, is “Why not?”

Let’s examine the facts. Xavier McDaniel also has millions of dollars. Xavier McDaniel also is familiar with sports and exercise equipment.