House Masters and tutors agree across the board that amorous relationships between students and tutors are strictly forbidden. Kirkland House Master Tom C. Conley notes that the policy is one of the basic premises in the contract for every tutor hired.

“In these situations an affective relation is usually a relation of power, a relation that can be upsetting and destructive,” he says.

But there is less of a consensus on the ideal balance between adviser and friend.

The Bedroom Door

Some tutors feel that student-tutor relationships are a matter of black and white. Fotini Christia, a public policy tutor and Quincy’s Tutor Selection Committee chair, said that relationships between tutors and students must be strictly professional.

“You can’t be friends with students because you have to keep some distance,” Christia says. “Your role as a tutor is undermined if you’re friends.”

But most tutors agree that some gray areas are inevitable, and the close age difference between students and tutors—many of whom are recent Harvard graduates who may have been classmates with students—can sometimes be a factor in blurring the lines between what is and is not appropriate.

“The age proximity opens the doors for many meaningful, rewarding tutor-student relationships,” Moulton says. “As long as it’s not the bedroom door, everyone’s fine.”

“Hang out with, yes,” he says. “Make out with, no.”

The door swings the other way, too. Eric D. Bennett ’97, a resident tutor in English in Pforzheimer House, says the tutor-student relationship can be what complicates a friendship.

“Definitely friendship is an important part of the tutor-student dynamic, although there is enough of an inherent hierarchy in the system that it’s an adulterated kind of friendship,” he says.

Bennett says there’s a tremendous burden on the committees that select tutors because, among other things, they must judge how well the applicant will keep the correct distance from students. He and many other tutors say a good rule is to act equally towards all students—“do nothing with one student that you wouldn’t feel comfortable or happy doing with another,” he says, advisees and non-advisees alike.

Keeping a distance can be difficult, as many events organized by students and tutors, such as House Stein Clubs and happy hours, offer alcohol to students and tutors together. Off-campus, the same socializing with alcohol involved could violate tutor guidelines.

Peter Wilson says it’s difficult to discern what the limits are, especially if student-tutor interactions take place outside the House.

“Once it becomes a ‘date,’ regardless of sexual intimacy, it’s not kosher,” he says.